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Do Yoga, Don't Do Yoga

Do whatever helps you feel well.

By Alicia BrunskillPublished about a year ago 3 min read
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Do Yoga, Don't Do Yoga
Photo by Ginny Rose Stewart on Unsplash

Social media can be a funny place at times. The tide of opinion sweeping one way, then the other at the drop of a hat. It can be both a supportive and a vitriolic environment when differences of opinion occur. Especially around the topic of mental illness.

In my small corner of social media, I often come across posts concerning self-care methods that seem to shame certain activities. I don’t think this is the intended goal of these posts, but I think that the way they are written has the unintended consequence of implying this message. So that you can get a better idea of what I’m referring to, I’ve included some approximations of the kinds of messages I see. My intention in including them isn’t to point the finger at individuals. Instead, I’m hoping to show how they can be interpreted by the people who rely on those activities for self-care, and to call for a little kindness and understanding.

Yoga comes in for quite a bashing, as does walking. I frequently see messages saying something similar to ‘sUrE, dOIng yOgA EVerY dAy WiLL cuRe mY DePrEssIOn’ or ‘Sure Karen, I went for a walk and now my [insert mental illness] is cured.’ Comments and threads below the initial message can become quite vicious towards the self-care activity mentioned.

I think the intent behind messages like this is to put a stop to unsolicited advice or the oversimplification of mental health issues with a quick fix. No-one needs unsolicited advice. Full-stop. Equally, mental health issues and mental illnesses are complex matters. As such, managing them is complex and no single quick solution can alleviate all symptoms in one go. It can feel almost insulting to suggest that there is a simple panacea.

What if Yoga is Your Lifeline?

By Jude Mack on Unsplash

And yet, doing yoga every day or going for a walk does help some people to cope with their mental illness or take care of their mental health. The same thing can be said of taking a bath or going for a run (activities which also seem to take a bashing on social media). For some people, these are the things that make the difference between sinking and treading water.

I think that posting messages like the examples above can be a form of shaming certain self-care activities. Messages like these give off the idea that there is a hierarchy of self-care, that some activities are more valid than others and can even imply that if these things do help you, you don’t really suffer from the illness mentioned.

It should go without saying that everyone will have a different repertoire of self-care activities based on their own individual needs and capabilities. I don’t think there’s any need to belittle things that don’t help you, when it’s entirely possible that they might help someone else.

We Can’t Be the Self-care Police

By King's Church International on Unsplash

Surely, there is a middle ground to be found. There must be a way to say no to unsolicited advice and pseudo quick fixes without putting down other people’s survival methods. I think that there has to be room for people to share their experiences regarding mental illness and managing their mental health online. It’s vital for breaking down stigma. If we, as a society, want to change the narrative around perceptions of people with mental illness, all voices need to be heard on this matter. There should be no fear of humiliation or invalidation because of self-care choices.

Unsolicited advice is infuriating. Anyone with a chronic illness (physical or mental) will be able to tell you a story or two that will boil your blood. For some illnesses there is no quick or simple fix. When you have one of these, you’re likely to have already spent a lot of time reading and researching what you can do to help yourself. Often in addition to medical appointments, prescribed therapies and/or medication. On top of that, there’s living with the illness.

After all that, you don’t need someone trying to tell you what the latest miracle cure is. And yet, there’s also no need to be hurtful to others in asserting your boundaries.

So, my suggestion is this. Let’s be kind. Let’s say no to unsolicited advice without belittling other people’s self-care methods. Even if they don’t help us specifically and even if we’ve heard them suggested a hundred times before. Let’s promote inclusivity and allow self-care to be whatever people need.

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About the Creator

Alicia Brunskill

Alicia writes about her experiences with anxiety and depression, teaching and learning languages, education and cats. She also shares her poetry and fiction from time to time.

Find her on Twitter: @aliciabrunskill

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