Depression In The Time of Covid-19

It’s not easy to talk about depression, but here it goes. Depression is seems to be such a taboo topic in the world, and it’s about time that we make it easier and more fluid to talk about. We have an entire month dedicated to mental health awareness. If only people were open and honest about what they're facing. I've decided that I've had enough of hiding my mental health issues from the world and that now is the perfect time to talk about them. I have gone through some serious depressive moments during lockdown. Whether it’s waking up feeling like it’s “Groundhog Day” again, or having it be 2pm on a Wednesday and feeling like I don’t have any purpose. This is a time when feeling our emotions can get too heavy for us, especially when we really haven’t been able to do much. Being in isolation can be extremely difficult as well. I've become so much more of a social butterfly since moving to California that reverting to being in my home alone has become increasingly hard. Recently, I’ve felt this depression set in. I was sitting on my couch and started looking around. I had laundry everywhere, dirty dishes in the sink, and hadn’t washed my hair in three days. I realized then that I was depressed. I was sad that my life felt like it was going around in circles. Everyday has the same routine, but that’s not how “normal” life works. I started crying uncontrollably and didn't know what to do with myself. It was such a crazy and emotional moment, but also a massive breakthrough for me.

I’ve been trying to make it more of a point for me to be living an authentic life. I’m tired of those of us who keep posting photos on social media acting like we’re “living our best lives” in quarantine. I know I’ve been a culprit of this. I've scrolled through Instagram and Facebook and viewed people and start thinking to myself I need to post a great selfie or something I'm cooking or making. I felt I needed to prove that I was making the most out of quarantine. I’m just stopping it now that I’ve become aware of what I’ve been portraying to others. There’s no denying that this new way of living is affecting us all. It doesn’t help though when those of us who are struggling are seeing others acting like there’s nothing wrong. I’m now promising to do what I can to be transparent with how this time in our lives is affecting me and what I’m doing, starting with this post. Being open and honest is scary, but I know it will help me make it through this time.

I’m depressed. This time in the world sucks and all of us are just trying to do the best we can with what we have. Who could have imagined that this would happen. But here we are, all of us trying to figure this out. So the best thing we can do is be there for each other and be honest with how we’re living. I know it’s not easy, and I know it’s scary. It's hard to come to grips with all of this. I’m taking this risk of being honest and open about how I’m dealing with this time, and I’m not expecting you, my reader, to follow suit. I’m just hoping that seeing me share what it’s like to make it easier for you to be honest with yourself and others. It only takes one moment to change how you're feeling.

It’s okay. I'm okay. You’re okay. We’re okay.