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Beyond the Blues

Beyond the Blues

Understanding depression is difficult; hear from Psyche's community of peers on their experiences with this mood disorder.

My Story
I don’t really know how to begin. I’ve had depression my whole life, but the day I felt it, really felt it, for the first time I was 13 years old. You know the feeling I’m talking about? Like everyday you’re in a haze, like you could be dreaming a sad dream. That feeling that even when you’re surrounded by people you’re alone?
By Blue Eyes8 years ago in Psyche
Theft of Depression
Depression is like a thief in the night. As if someone broke into my home and robbed me of my happiness. Sometimes it even feels as if I'll never be able to feel joy again. I used to think it was because I wasn't popular or because I didn't have many friends, but as I grew older I realized it was much bigger than that. It was as if a thief had stolen my purse and took off running. I'd try so hard to run after the thief as fast as I could to take back what was mine. My purse. My happiness. No matter how fast I ran I couldn't catch him.
By Sleepless inStLouis8 years ago in Psyche
What Is Wrong? Why Can't I Know?
I feel as though I am drowning, not in the sea but in myself. And yet it is not even truly me, it is the black sea of depression and I know others are near. I just can’t see them… and it hurts to know that others are near but to still feel completely isolated because I cannot reach them. I wake up and the pain immediately washes over me once again; it hurts so bad and I cannot find the right words to calm my mother’s nerves as I descend deeper into myself. I walk to class, tripping upon my own feet, almost falling with every anxious step. I wish I was falling, in reality not metaphorically, off of a cliff or into the traffic that never seems to stop. I do not want to want to die but I do not believe I have the will or the want of existence anymore. Depression, however, is not a valid excuse to miss my obligations, the reason will not hold up in an academic court or any for that matter unless, of course, insanity is pled. So I stay silent as I drown because I don’t think that there is hope for me any longer… I will feel like this forever.
By Ash 8 years ago in Psyche
Mentally Damaged
Sunflowers make me happy. The brightness of them remind me that there is light in a world so dark. Though your darkness may be a lot different to mine. My mental instability keeps me in the dark. I know that I’m not but I feel pathetic, like I’m worthless and not good. I hurt those around me, especially the ones I love most. Obviously not physically but words hurt, too.
By Becca Kemp8 years ago in Psyche
6 Things People Don't Think About When It Comes to Depression
According to the World Health Organization, over 300 million people worldwide suffer from depression at some point in their lives. For those of us that have experienced, are currently experiencing, or will experience depression, it’s nice to feel validated by someone other than a therapist. So, here are six things that people don’t think about that feels good to hear.
By Shaley Speaks8 years ago in Psyche
Asking for Help
Help. Help! HELP! It's a hard thing to do; asking for help. Especially in certain situations. A lot of the time, we straight up refuse help because either we don't want to bother people, we were raised to believe we could do it on our own, or we firmly believe that accepting help is admitting defeat. Some of us suffer from all three of these problems. Sometimes, it's something as simple as asking someone to babysit. Other times, we're sitting in our own depression, afraid to ask for help or reach out. It's hard to think that we all haven't been in some form of both situations.
By Michelle Schultz8 years ago in Psyche
Merry Blue Christmas
Are you spending Christmas alone? Hey, me too! We've all got our stories for why we might be having a blue Christmas alone, and chances are there are a lot of common themes amongst our stories. Here's mine, in the hopes of perhaps showing other people out there that they're not truly alone.
By Ashley L. Peterson8 years ago in Psyche
The Reality of Mental Health
There is a thick line between the people that pretend in order to get attention and the people that really experience it. Is it something you did? Something you're going through? Or is it really something that your brain just does to you because it's an asshole?
By Katia Ashe 🖤8 years ago in Psyche
The Hardest Talk
Talking to your significant other about your suicidal thoughts is one of the hardest thing you can do. You fear what it will do to them and to your relationship. But it also can help quiet those voices.
By Lorraine Woiak8 years ago in Psyche
Demons of the Mind
My youngest daughter wrote this and asked me to post it. *** I'm terrified of questions. I'm terrified of being asked questions. I hate being asked questions and having to come up with a fake answer just so I won't be bothered. I want to do good. I want to be able to say that I'm a good person. I want to be able to say that I'm proud of who I am. I want to say I'm happy and be telling the truth.
By Michelle Frank8 years ago in Psyche
Depression
I have no friends, nobody likes me, I’m not good enough, I feel alone in this world, what would people think if I was gone, maybe this world will be better without me, I have no purpose here. Sadness, remorse, guilt, shame, anger, hate, empty, alone—these are all the feelings that come to our heads and swallow us whole into what we feel like is the abyss of our current lives struggling with depression.
By Emily Buehner8 years ago in Psyche
A Letter to Depression 10/13/18
Dear Depression, Today, I woke up and looked you in the eyes. You stared back at me, and I recognized your battered face and scarred hands from all the times we have fought. You stroked my hair and I let you. I thought it felt good to be stroked. Nobody ever touches me. Touch is as hideous the thought of crawling under the covers with a stranger—my skin cannot accept your touch. Has anyone ever told you that your hands are beautiful from afar? That you taste of delight, and you warm my soul.
By Analyn Foust8 years ago in Psyche