Can I Ask You Something?

I want to ask you a genuine question. Before you answer, I want you to really think about a few things. How do I see this in my own life? In the lives of those around me? Why is it this way?

Here is my question: Why are people so embarrassed?

What do I mean? Perfect question.

I once watched a boy in my class (way back in 5th grade) get under a table and cry after he had farted in class. Why? Because farts are embarrassing. Well, at least that is what we are told. Not satisfied, okay.

When I first got my period as a young teenage girl, I had to wear pads. I know, SHOCKER! I remember trying to slowly open the pad in the girls' restroom while the wrapper crinkled and basically ratted me out. "Oh, look over here. This girl has to deal with a natural part of life. Shame on her." My face turned bright red in the stall. Why? Because periods are embarrassing. Well, at least that is what we are told.

Still not satisfied? Okay.

Public speaking. I can hear your hands shaking already. " What if I mess up? What if I mispronounce something? What if I blank? What if I sound stupid?What if I fail?" Newsflash: EVERYBODY FAILS. Failure is a necessary part of life. You don't fail; you don't learn. But that doesn't make our worries go away. Why? Because failure is embarrassing. Well, at least that is what we are told.

Ever heard of the Asch Conformity Experiments? A group of people was given a simple task: “Pick the line that matches the length of the line given.” Everyone in the room except one person was working with the researcher. Their job was to deliberately choose an incorrect line to see whether the one real participant would change their answer and conform to the group.

If everyone else in the room agreed on an answer that wasn't yours, would you fold? I will be honest. I probably would have folded, or at least kept my answer and not spoken up. It's like getting 4 as an answer when people are debating between 54 and 78. Because having our own thoughts and ideas, even if they are right, is embarrassing. Well, at least that is what we are told.

What about those moments when you don't understand? When it is embarrassing to ask for help. When someone explains it in simpler terms. Because not perfectly understanding every little concept is embarrassing. Well, at least that is what we are told.

What about when we don't know the newest trends? When our clothes are out of style. There is a new popular water bottle everyone must have. Because not staying updated means we are falling behind, and that is embarrassing. Well, at least that is what we are told.

What about those moments when we look in the mirror and wish we were prettier, skinnier, or more muscular? Why do we wish that? Because if we aren't supermodels, and if we don't look like the people on social media, then we aren't beautiful. Well, at least that is what we are told.

You're too fat. You're too skinny. You're too weak. Do you eat? Do you know how to stop eating? You show too much. You're too reserved. Stop overreacting. Do you even care? These grades won't cut it. Quit being a show-off.

Perfection is the bar nowadays. But it cannot be reached. What happens to all these young minds struggling to fit in? To find their way in the world, when all of these impossible standards are shoved down their throats. When every little action is called cringe or embarrassing. Why can't we just let people be people?