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Being a Woman Like Me

by Michelle Ewalt 11 months ago in self help

The Five Stages of Being a Woman Like Me

I know that life is unfair and unrelenting I have wondered if life is just five stages recycling several times over.

Stage one: This is it; a problem, a situation, or a thing presents itself and you being a women like me have a brief moment when you think about the problem, situation, or thing. The questions begin; Can I fix it? How did I let this happen? What did I do or what did someone else do to let this take place? Then as always, Self Loathing and depression sets in and you believe that the problem is way to big. Its crushing you! All of this takes place within 30 seconds. To get out of stage one you start to think; Compared to the state of the world today this problem, situation, or thing really isn't that big and can be managed or fixed. This thought and state of mind leads too..

Stage two: Being a woman like me sets you into motion to now say, "I got this! I can do this and just make it happen!". I can use my resources. I can reach out to the people that I have helped, "they will help me". Truth: You realize very quickly, No one will help you. No one has the means, the time, the emotional space to reach out for you. Being a woman like me you promptly go back to stage 1. I can fix this; but how did I let this happen? Now you go through Self Loathing again until you have a magic "light bulb", thought: "Oh Yeah!" which leads to...

Stage three: Eventually, you will reach this "Oh Yeah" thought; Well I can't undo it, I can't explain it, I can't find help for it, so "It is what it is". This stage is really nowhere, not acceptance, just no where. This stage is simply just Procrastination or denial, whichever you are more comfortable with. At the end of this stage which can last minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or years depending on how extreme and urgent the problem really is. I mean, if the bill arrives, the deadline comes, or the illness takes hold, you promptly move on to..

Stage Four: Give yourself a pat on the back. You lived through stage 3! Being a woman like me you will note the problem, the situation, the nonfixable something is now bigger and more monstrous than you can imagine. You will retreat back to stage one in the self loathing phase. Then think, "I ca fix this", "How did I let this happen?" This stage leads to One of Two decisions: 1. I cannot fix this but maybe I can get help to fix it" and 2. " I can fix it all I have to do is move this here; Rearrange these things to here; or just say this to the right person." Unfortunately either of these situations are going to lead you back to stage 2 or 3. Welcome to the recycle. Being a woman like me you will decide that neither of these decisions are the correct one, eventually, and that will lead you too...

Stage 5: So here you are! Whatever you do; you try hard to stay optimistic. I am going to tell you that stage 5 is the solution to the problem, situation, nonfixable thing. Being a woman like me, ask: how in the world do you get to stage 5? Well, you can reach this stage but rarely on the first cycle. Being a woman like me you will circle and come to the edge of stage 5 many times. As you approach stage 5 you will think to yourself: "I can do this! I can Fix this problem! How did I let this happen"?

self help

Michelle Ewalt

Read next: What it is Like to Live With Daily Post-Traumatic Stress

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