Autism in a Nutshell

People ask me all the time what it's like to be autistic and I really can't sum it up in a simple sentence or adjective. Autism is me, I am autism, my own little human spot on the spectrum. The spectrum of me, the spectrum of autism. I would not be the same person if I wasn't autistic, my personality, my taste, the way I walk and talk and even interact in my daily life would be different. The way I respond to stimuli would change, my senses wouldn't be so sensitive or sharp as a tack. I wouldn't be the same person at all. I wouldn't dress the same, I wouldn't like the same foods or even have the same friends in my life as I'm sure my interests would be vastly different. Without autism, I am not me, just the same body for different entities.

Autism is not just a spectrum in how it varies from person to person, but how it impacts the person themselves. Some days are better functioning days than others. Somedays I can socialize more, talk and take care of my basic needs. Some days I can only handle my basic needs but not anything else. There's days where even responding to a text message is difficult or the sound of the cars outside on the road are deafening.

The CDC describes autism in the following way, Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a developmental disability caused by differences in the brain. Some people with ASD have a known difference, such as a genetic condition. Other causes are not yet known. Scientists believe there are multiple causes of ASD that act together to change the most common ways people develop. We still have much to learn about these causes and how they impact people with ASD.

People with ASD may behave, communicate, interact, and learn in ways that are different from most other people. There is often nothing about how they look that sets them apart from other people. The abilities of people with ASD can vary significantly. For example, some people with ASD may have advanced conversation skills whereas others may be nonverbal. Some people with ASD need a lot of help in their daily lives; others can work and live with little to no support.

I can talk about my special interests for hours, but small talk makes me cringe. I would much rather get to deep and meaty conversation than discuss the weather. I can't drink room temperature water but I don't generally like to heat canned food. I don't like the texture of corduroy, it feels like my fingertips are burning when I touch it. I get very overwhelmed in the sun and prefer night time. I love going to events like Horror Nights because I crave the stimulation it provides me, but I don't think I could handle going to a sporting event. I love the feeling of driving with the window down but I can't stand my hair being messed up. I prefer baths to showers because I don't like the feeling of water falling on my head. These are just parts of myself as an autistic person, layers that make me up and make me who I am. Being autistic, sometimes I hear things other people miss or catch things they didn't see. Sometimes my senses are extra sharp, even when my voice is silent and I am having difficulty talking. I'll even smell things before anyone else does, which isn't fun when you're the first person to get a whiff of a skunk or a fart.

There is a common misconception about autistic people that we only see things in black and white, but in reality, we see things in the picture that other people don't notice, the fine details that the average non-autistic person would never stop to catch. We see the texture of the paint, the figures behind the trees, the sunlight peeking through the branches and so on when everyone else is seeing the house in the center of the portrait. We are like Mac computers in a world of PC, working with our own operating system. Sometimes we require a little extra support, but we aren't difficult to learn about.