Anxiety

I hate when I start over thinking and then all of a sudden I'm really nervous, I can’t think and my breathing gets heavy..

Is this anxiety?

Idk

But,

It’s been happening to me a lot lately..

HURT SO BAD I GO NUMB

You know how twins get that seperation anxiety when they are away from their twin for too long or are just so used to being around each other all the time that when they aren’t around each other anymore they feel sick, sad, and sulky…that’s how I am going to be when my sister leaves for school this August and I do not get to get with her.

You see I am graduated now, I have to find “my way” in the world but I do not want to, I want to go back to school in the fall and keep living my college years..

What if you go to college, like everyone says you should, and do not find yourself? What do you do then? Just trying to find a desk job and move on…

That’s sure as hell not what I want to do.

Me and my sister are not twins but 6/7 days a week it sure does feel like it. Do not know what I will do when my best friend goes back to school in the fall and I won’t be.

midnight minds

do you ever think to yourself… wow am I lonely?

I see all these couples and I just want to be one

But I am not having someone fill my emptiness, I think I am just to the point that I want someone to spend everything with because my family is not for that anymore…

July twenty second:

So things are turning around it feels like, I’m feeling a little more positive these days but not in the correct mind set still, I used to love my life and feel so happy everyday and now it’s only sometimes. Is this like with age? Or do you have to hit rock bottom before coming back up above the water?

Some days I literally feel like I’m two feet below the water trying to breathe and no one is there to try and help me…

my lungs fill with water and I’m slowly sinking

I’m a swimmer and I still feel like this

Some days are harder than others but let’s hope things just keep getting better and better again

My anxiety gets worse and worse everyday and I used to never get anxiety, I didn’t even think it was in my dictionary at any time…

Who am I, some days?

I need my life back

I need to feel like myself again…

I envy the girls that fine their forever love in high school and in college, like I’m out of college and I am still working on it, I just think that something better is coming… right now I need to work on myself

Do you ever miss someone so much it hurt?

Listen…

Do you ever feel so alone bc you once were surrounded by so many people all the time, thriving off of being around people?

There are studies shown that we do better being around people most of the time. We don’t have to be around people all the time because alone time is good too. But being alone all the time just is not ideal.

You’re just in your head being consumed by your own thoughts all time.

It’s starts to become sickening because you have no one else to talk to, no new ideas, nothing.

How do we evolve after this?

I miss being around people