AFTER DEATH

Children often bring up the subject of death in my counseling practice. Some children in their middle elementary school years report a fear of dying and sometimes express worry about falling asleep because they or their family members might die overnight. More frequently, teenagers bring up the topic of death in the context of coming to grips with having a finite life and asking about its meaning.

Many of the patients who bring up the topic deal with anxiety, but some deal with the loss or impending loss of a loved one, including a pet. Some patients have a serious or terminal medical illness that brings death closer to home.

Studies have shown that children develop views on death based on how it is presented to them. If death is presented as resulting from a cessation of biological function, young children are more apt to think of death in biological terms than when death is explained in an afterlife context, e.g., “Your grandmother is now with God.” However, as they age, children and adults often adopt two parallel stances about death involving a biological and an afterlife or religious stance.

In this post, I present the views of representative teenagers from my experience, including brief excerpts of the discussions I have had with them.

Afterlife:

A common view expressed by many of my patients is that after death, their souls will go to heaven. These patients also mostly believe that their pets will go to heaven. However, very few say they can explain what happens in heaven. They are of split opinion regarding whether they can interact with the souls of loved ones in heaven.

For grieving patients who believe in the afterlife, doctor offer the opportunity to use hypnosis to interact with their loved ones. Most patients take up this opportunity, including those who say they are unsure whether interactions are possible with the deceased. After they imagine such an interaction, most patients report that it felt real and that they feel better about the loss of their loved one.

Some patients wonder how heaven can be real if different religions view the afterlife differently. We discuss that religions represent mankind’s attempts to make sense of the world and define principles we should live. I suggest that since people have promulgated religions, the guidance they offer may be imperfect and inconsistent within each religion or in comparison with other religions, even if God originally inspired it.

There Is Nothing After Death:

The view that there is nothing after death, often referred to as "nihilism" or the belief in the cessation of consciousness and existence at death, is one of many perspectives on the topic of what happens after we die. It's a viewpoint that has been expressed by individuals throughout history, and it is a position held by some based on their personal beliefs, experiences, or philosophical outlook.

It's important to recognize that beliefs about life after death, or the lack thereof, are deeply personal and can be influenced by a variety of factors, including one's upbringing, cultural background, religious or philosophical beliefs, and personal experiences. Some people find comfort and meaning in the idea of an afterlife, while others find meaning in the impermanence and fragility of life, as your patients have expressed.

The idea that our perception of reality is limited by what our brains can register is a valid point. Human perception is indeed limited to what our senses and cognitive processes can handle. This limitation can make the question of what happens after death a profound and mysterious one.

The agnostic position you mentioned, which acknowledges the unknowable nature of what happens after death, is a stance taken by many individuals who are unsure or open to various possibilities. It recognizes the inherent uncertainty in addressing questions about the afterlife, and it allows room for different beliefs and perspectives to coexist.

Ultimately, beliefs about life after death, or the lack thereof, are a matter of personal philosophy and worldview. People may hold different beliefs on this topic, and those beliefs can have a significant impact on how they approach life, find meaning, and cope with the idea of mortality. It's important to respect and understand the diversity of perspectives on this deeply existential question.