Adults Self-Harm Too

When you think about self-harm, what goes through your mind? What is the first thing that you think of? You probably think of self-harm – or self-mutilation, whatever you want to call it – as something that only angsty, anxiety-ridden teens or do. But that's not the truth.

It's probably correct to say that most who self-harm started doing it in their early or late teens. It's the most common time for people to begin harming themselves as a way to get through long days and even longer and more lonely nights. Being a teenager is stressful, and can be quite overwhelming; so it makes sense for people to try and find any possible way that they can to help themselves cope; even if it’s destructive and unhealthy. A small percentage of us turn to hurting ourselves to get a sense of relief, to punish ourselves for not believing that we’re good enough, or simply just to feel something. There are numerous reasons as to why people choose to hurt themselves, and it’s not easy to understand why people may do it.

Most self-harmers are usually able to stop engaging in these destructive behaviours by the time they turn 20. Maybe they managed it all by themselves? Maybe they got professional help and it worked a charm! However, that is not the case for everyone. Some of us are well into our 20's – sometimes even older because anyone of any age can be a self-harmer – are still in the grips of the demon that is self-harm. It isn't an easy thing to beat or get over. It takes time, it takes courage and it takes a whole lot of hard work! There’s a reason why self-harm is often referred to as destructive coping mechanism. Because it helps you cope and it works (if only for a small amount of time and it makes you feel ashamed afterwards)! After a certain point, it’s almost like it’s an addiction and that makes it even harder to stop – especially if you’ve been doing it for quite a while. Take it from someone who knows first hand how addicting it can be.

One thing that barely anyone talks about is how adults happen to self-harm too. Almost every article or essay only mentions how about kids, teenagers or young people use self injury as a way to help themselves deal with immense amounts of emotional pain. It's only on rare occasions that you see things about adults and how they can self-harm too. Who knows why most websites, informational pamphlets or factsheets choose to ignore the fact that full-grown adults sometimes use the same self-destructive behaviours that teens do.

I may still technically be classed as a young adult in certain regards even though I am 23, but when I see people talk about self-harm and refer to it as something only teens do, it doesn't sit right with me. I still hurt myself on purpose occasionally. I still dabble in self-harm behaviours, though not as much as I used to. I'm tired of the majority of people believing only teens are capable of frequently self-harming, because that is nowhere near the truth. Adults are just better at hiding their scars and bruises, and are a lot less likely to open up about the fact they self-harm due to the fact that people may think they are being childish by confessing that they engage in self-injurous methods and behaviours.

The reasons adults self-harm are more likely contributed to job stress, financial stress and major relationship breakdowns. They're also likely to self-harm less often than those who are younger, but that doesn't mean they don't still cut, punch, hit or pull their own hair out as a way of coping with the stress in their lives. People of all ages need a vice, need a coping mechanism in order to get through stressful days. It makes sense that adults would self-harm too, though most people just assume they don’t. Which in some ways, can be harmful. The stigma around self-harm is already huge. But the stigma around adults and self-harm is undoubtedly bigger.