Accomplishments

I have always hated the saying "It's not what you know, it's who you know."

I have learned a lot over the years. I have realized that I am almost capable of anything that I put my mind too!

What kills me the most is regardless of my experience, and determination to get things done. I am questioned by those above me.

It is the lack of confidence from others I try my hardest not to let define me.

It is not what you know that gets you ahead. It is how well you can fake it until you make it, and how much brown nosing you can do.

It must be after all, who would put someone in charge, who knows nothing at all?

No matter how much knowledge I gain or try to grow. I do not really see all of my accomplishments as me being successful.

Some say I should be proud. I went onto college while working a full-time job and raising two kids on my own.

I do not look at it really as an accomplishment, but rather what needed to be done.

I pushed myself although most days I had to endure my chronic pain. Praying I would just make it thru class.

Staying up late and cramming for tests. Writing up papers and working with partners.

It was not easy needless to say, and about halfway I even thought about changing my major.

But at this time, it was too late. No matter if I loved this field of work or would I grow to hate.

So, I continued to push on until I was done. The day came and went when I graduated from yet another college.

But no one wanted to attend the graduation ceremony or drive for hours.

All that hard work, and on this day instead of being happy I was filled with much sorrow.

So, they mailed me my diploma, and I had to pay for them to send me my stoll, honor cords, and tassel.

It was a big disappointment to me I had no words. Now I look back, and ask myself why did I even go?

To get a better job to provide for my family, make a decent living, and professionally grow.

If I had to do it all over again knowing what I do now. I probably would have received my associate degree and left it at that.

I felt a little robbed as I missed out a lot on my kids growing up. To end up at a job with some mediocre pay. Living check to check is not success at least that is what I say!

At one time I even contemplated going for my educational doctorate, but I had already started my first semester towards my master's.

Once again, I was being pulled in different directions. Do I stay with and focus on this career path, or follow the one I am currently on?

At this time all the hard work and dedication had led me to an overwhelmed feeling. A world filled with anxiety and depression.

I have always been the hardest on myself. If I could not graduate with a 4.0 then it wasn't enough!

I realized I was a bit of a perfectionist and being independent was my biggest flaw.

Things have been really tough, but each time I get knocked down, or fall I have learned to crawl.

To crawl out of the pit that you feel you are in when you hit rock bottom. I know this is not how most people feel I know it is quite uncommon.

I guess I look at my life and feel I was destined for greatness. But somewhere along the line I was defeated by those who are heinous.

To land a job that finally feels like I had found my purpose. To help out others and want to see them succeed and go farther.

To rebuild a community that once was much stronger. If I can do that, I will know I succeeded.

Accomplishments have never meant much to me. What does it mean to be successful? Well, I think the definition is different between you and me!