A shift in my view of praise

What I want to write about today is the evolution of my ideas about praise. Because my parents seldom praise me, I started to be eager about the praise when I was young. Then my mind changed as I grew up. My parents also changed their educational style later after communicating with them. I would like to write these down, so that more people witness my growth.

Since I was young, I wanted to be praised by my parents, so I always tried my best to do many things well, but I felt that I would always mess up many things, and my parents would scold me for it. I seldom was praised by other people, I thought that I was a loser. I have always been particularly envious of children who have grown up with praise. The confidence in their eyes, the upward turn of their lips, is what I've wanted for years. I always looked at them with awe, looking at their achievements, looking at their confidence when they were talking with others. I thought that I could not reach their height. Sometimes I hated my incompetence, why I can't always be as good as them, so that I can get as much praise as them, I wanted someone to be proud of me. At that time, I was not willing to praise people and also I did not know how to praise people correctly. I did not understand that I did not have to envy others, everyone has their different strengths, and also everyone has their own misfortune.

As I grew older, I realized that children who receive praise from a young age are burdened with it, and that praise can sometimes be a shackle on them. They always want to be perfect and have everyone like them and praise them. However, perfection is anti-human and impossible. If they do not admit that they are just ordinary people who cannot handle all the things in the world properly, they will live very tired and feel pain. Pretending to be perfect only makes people feel symphonic for you.

In adolescence,because of the heavy burden of the college entrance examination. I easily became angry, and I often quarreled with my parents. Now I only feel guilty. I can't vent my negative feelings of dissatisfaction to my parents. I still crave praise as I did when I was a kid, but I express it differently. I wanted to rebel to tell my parents that I thought their blindly oppressive education was not correct, I need praise, I long for praise. I want to change my lack of confidence. My parents gradually understood what I needed to communicate with me. I don't want delicious food, they don't want to magnify my flaws, they don't want to tell me the way to change. I want praise, in other words, I crave approval.

Later, my parents gradually learned to praise me. They would praise me for a small success. I remember at that time I was stunned, saying: Oh, it is not a small thing. In fact, my eyes have been slowly getting wet. Is this what it feels like to be praised? I wondered to myself.

Now I have been slowly indifferent to these. I realized that all I wanted was praise because I wasn't strong enough. The only reason I envied children who grew up in praise was because I hadn't grown up yet.

In general, my attitude towards praise has gradually changed as I grew up, and I have learned a lot from my desire to be indifferent from the beginning.