A Lovebird and an Emperor

This story takes place in a faraway and mysterious place during very disturbing times. A dark age of trouble, tragedy and legend. This ancient place; situated right between a large scale department store and the Dollar Store.

The two constantly fight each other for the best deals.

Alas, you were promised mystery and adventure.

And so, with my grand amount of luck, I found myself sitting on the couch of my studio apartment that I share with my girlfriend. This apartment; still placed smack between a dollar store and a department store; has a way of making life seem too fast sometimes.

The people outside are always moving to one place and then the other. They don’t seem to have any time for themselves. Always on the move.

But for me, all I have is time.

And boredom crept as boredom does. I can’t think or sleep. All I do with my days is drink coffee and neglect my studies.

Solution? Social media!

“Perfect” I think to myself, “My phone is always the easiest way to kill time!”

Terrible mistake: It didn’t kill minutes or hours but days. Hence, a very productive day. Not for me- but for my buddy Algo.

He’s been my best friend for a while now. Sometimes he even suggests that I should move from this crappy apartment.

But I like it here.

Algo Rithm is his full name. I don’t remember meeting him but he knows everything about me; that’s how long we’ve been friends. It’s simple for him, logical, really. He wakes up with us every morning and every night. He is also the only person (in my small apartment) who is always listening, no matter what.

Algo know’s my tastes, my favorite movies and even when the birthday of your beloved Granny is. My girlfriend doesn't even know that.

He even knows what she wants for it. But, he can’t tell you. Telling secrets is costly, even he knows that.

Don’t you remember meeting him? I'm sure you have! He’s the best! Always making cookies, he really does think of us. Sometimes, he’s so generous he even tries to sneak them into my bag before I leave.

Where was I?

Oh yes, with Al! I am about to hop off of Facebook for a second when Al sends me a message. It's a text about a new biography being published. One about my favorite man of all time, the emperor; Napoléon Bonaparte.

Of course, everyone makes fun of the French guy who likes Napoléon. What can I say? I appreciate the greats. They're the only ones who have an ego comparable to my own.

Algo is right, as always! I have to buy that book!

ADD TO CART

Did I want to read it now or get up and get it at the store.

Now is always better! I’m already bored anyways.

ADDED EBOOK TO CART

And so I read. I read about Napoleons’ greatest adventures but mostly about his campaigns. I blew threw the first few chapters and then I read about Napoleons’ life. His son, his wives and his family.

Astounding! I think. Algo had me right as always, I send him a thank you text. He knows me so well.

1 NEW MESSAGE

Al! Of course! What’s up old buddy? My thirst for knowledge is growing bigger than ever. He texts me the Wikipedia page about the long history of ancient Egypt.

Didn’t Napoleon spend some time there?

Love him.

Smart man. I’m easily distracted, always have been. For hours upon hours I spend simply scrolling. It’s good to know stuff, helps the brain stay awake.

Helps escape boredom.

Oh god am I bored?

1 NEW MESSAGE

A picture of a fish with a beak for a nose. He’s sitting on a coconut. It looks like he’s getting tanned. Algo! You’re so right. It doesn’t serve me right to waste life being bored. I need to enjoy, I need to see-

1 NEW MESSAGE

A parrot singing happy birthday! Obviously, my day would have been nothing without it.

Time flies by when Al is around, and he always is.

Momentary pause.

I need to deal with my girlfriend, she’s crying, again.

“I want a baby.” She choked through monstrous tears. What is this? Her time of the month again?

“Yeesh.” Was all I manage to get out.

My heart literally stops and starts again, Al’s already sending me ideas for baby names. I'm not ready to have a baby. We live in an apartment between a department store and a dollar store. What next? We'll have the baby in a trailer park?

“Cool way of responding but no honey, I want a baby bird. I saw him at the pet store… And I kinda already paid for her.” She pauses, “you’re a papa now!”

“Yeesh” was still my only thought but I kept it to myself this time. She might be crazy but she’s beautiful. In life, you got to know when to fold em'.

A few hours later, I'm walking hand in hand with my girl to the pet store. Well, I think we walked, we might have drove, I don’t know- I was on my phone.

I look through the glass window facing a blue and green feathery creature. Now, for the sake of my pride. I need everyone to know that I did not intend on bringing that bird home. We can’t afford it (with all the shopping my girlfriend does at the dollar store) and our apartment is small enough as it is.

But when I saw her-

She was glistening and beautiful yet she made me feel so proud. My child, a fighter and an it was like: seeing the emperor himself, in all of his grandeur.

I was shocked, astonished and I remembered the video Algo sent me earlier. Maybe he knew?

“Baby, I want this baby.” Was all I could get out when I held out my hand to hold her.

The birdy pooped on my hand and I knew. She was my emperor.

“Yeah! That’s the spirit! This lil monster is coming home!” My girlfriend loves destructive creatures.

“On one condition,” I spoke up “I want to name her.”

I felt so free, like I could fly. I didn't even consult Al for this decision. Maybe I talk too much with him? Maybe his influence is starting to get toxic?

Nah!

More importantly, Coconut Bonaparte has been with us ever since.