10 Signs You Might Be a Narcissist

It's no secret that narcissism is a serious personality disorder, one that not only causes harmful behavior but also causes severe unhappiness. It's time to decide which side you're on. Do you want to be the life of the party and think yourself better than everyone else? Or do you want to be a caring, compassionate friend who puts others before themselves?

In this article, we'll discuss 10 signs that might mean you're with the latter. Whether it's how much time and energy you invest in your appearance or if people say that they avoid talking to you because they find it difficult to get a word in edgewise with all your self-centered pontificating...there are plenty of red flags out there.

1. You always have a hair or make-up emergency, but aren't willing to use the mirror available in your home.

If you are constantly frustrated because you've cut your hair and it's shorter than you'd like, or you've just realized that your roots are showing a week after your appointment with the colorist, or any other minor crisis, chances are high that this is just a ploy to get someone else to do something for you.

Whether it's a friend of yours or someone at the salon, maybe this habit is born out of an inability to take care of yourself...or maybe you think it's going to make someone else feel bad if they don't come through for you. Either way, this is one of those habits that is easily broken by deciding to take care of it yourself and not expecting others to step in and do it for you.

2. Your friends avoid picking you up for a night out because they know that a few drinks will lead to several hours of complaining about them.

Those who have been around you long enough to even care are probably tired of hearing about how people always let you down, or how annoying everyone can be. Maybe they finally decided to cut you off...after all, you're irritating. Maybe they feel guilty for not being able to put up with you. Who knows? But if this is a problem for them, maybe it's time to reconsider their friendship with you.

It's not their job to "fix" you and if they've worked hard befriending you long enough, they deserve better than the headache that comes with having a friend who can't take care of herself (speaking from personal experience).

3. You think that your lies are entertaining and fun.

Whether it's telling a friend that you are going to meet her at a certain place, when you're actually going skiing with your boyfriend and didn't want her to "cramp your style", or you've told a work colleague that you have experience in something and really don't, this is one of the big red flags of narcissism.

Because when something feels wrong, but we do it anyway simply because we want something or are trying to look cool in front of other people...that's narcissistic. Unless we feel like what we want is worth the risk of getting caught, chances are that this is not healthy behavior.

4. You only show interest in people who can help get you closer to where you want to be.

Maybe you've already worked on your skills in order to obtain the job you have now and maybe, just maybe, this is why you don't have time for friends. You might not be trying to tell everyone that all people who aren't in your social circle are stupid or mean...but we can still correctly assume that it's something like this that's going on. You're not willing to put in the work for something unless it will get you somewhere.

5. Your conversations are filled with everything but a genuine interest in what the other person has to say.

We often end up avoiding conversation altogether if we're trying to focus on getting through a task or meeting. When we're at the beginning of our relationships, it's easy to notice this, but as time passes by and we become more comfortable with each other, we tend to let our guard down.

This is when narcissists start noticing that they can get away with saying or doing things that you'd be uncomfortable with. Whether by ignoring conversations completely or just not being interested in them, chances are high that this is a bad habit that needs to be broken.

6. You have trouble asking for help because you think you will appear weak or incompetent if you do so.

But the truth is that we all need to ask for help from each other...that's what makes us human. Unfortunately, I think too many people mistake that for being weak. If you find that you do not like asking for help when you need it and in fact, tend to avoid it even if it means putting yourself in a potentially bad situation, then this could be one of the signs of narcissism.

The next time you have trouble asking someone to give you advice or otherwise help you out, ask them if they think your weakness is truly holding you back. Chances are good that they'll set you straight and tell you what they really think, which will ultimately make your life better.

7. You only pay attention to your friends when it's time to "talk" about their flaws.

Maybe you have a friend who is great at everything, has tons of confidence, friends who adore her and thinks that she's just the best. Maybe she's not actually that great...but maybe you've decided that she really is. Maybe this is because you're jealous of her or want to take her down a peg or two.

You might think that because you see other people criticize this friend or that friend, everyone should do the same...because after all, everyone else will want to be your friend if they know how awesome you are.

8. You don't always give advice because you think it will make you look better.

There is a fine line between caring and being overly controlling, but we can easily cross it if we're not careful. We all love to know that someone else cares about us and wants us to succeed...but there is a difference between wanting the best for our friends and trying to control them. If you have trouble giving your friends advice or just helping them out in any way other than the way that's most beneficial to you, this is probably an issue you should work on.

9. Your friends have stopped asking for advice because you never ask them for help.

There is a difference between being self-sufficient and narcissism. If your friends see that you don't need help and that everything always has to be done the way you want it to, they're probably done asking you questions or advice.

The truth is that not everyone knows everything...in fact, most of us are always trying to learn something new. And if you aren't able or willing to admit that maybe some other people do know more than you, then this could be one of the big red flags of narcissism.

10. You find yourself wanting something more than your friends...or having an easier time finding it on your own.

Some people do get upset when they think that their friends are too positive and happy or that they aren't very capable of really achieving anything on their own. Maybe you've decided that it's hard to have friends who don't seem very capable of achieving things without you. That's not a good way to be. If this is the case, then try to find some ways to be a more supportive friend...because nobody should feel stuck in a friendship with you if they don't want it.

Finally

The more we focus on the people around us and on making friends, the less we focus on ourselves. And that can be a good thing...if the feeling is mutual.

If you find yourself lacking in the friend department, try not to blame those around you...and instead, become more open to new relationships that will benefit both of you. Because whatever your reasons for insisting that friendships are bad or love is a waste of time...we all know that this isn't true.

After all, it's pretty hard to be happy when your life lacks close bonds with other people and when you can't even make yourself feel good about who you are. That's why we need to do what works for us instead of listening to everyone else.