STRAP

I go to meet my old flatmate for drinks and I pull the magazine out of my bag and push it across the table at him. “You’ve got to see this,” I say, getting ready to gush. He starts flicking through the pages and then looks up at me and says, “you’re showing me a magazine full of people my type,” face full of awe. “Isn’t it amazing? All this amazing queer and trans art? I had to show you.” He did an art degree and used to front a queer trans punk band*, so I knew he’d appreciate all of the work in this exciting magazine.

A different day, my roommate and I are snuggling up, enjoying a meal after a day of making art. “Imagine getting into STRAP, though,” they say. “Wouldn’t that be something?” So, what is it about this magazine? Of course, neither of us had ever seen anything like it before, and it has a huge variety of work in it.

I hadn’t seen erotic magazines since I was laughing at them in corner shops as a kid until my flatmate had shown me one before we moved in together that was for times when the internet was out or when what you could find on the internet was too sickening. We often talked at length about how I was sick of turning to the internet for the erotic because I wasn’t ever actually seeing what I wanted to see, wasn’t feeling represented in the erotic media I consumed, and was usually settling for the content online that made me feel the least uncomfortable.

Finding Ben Saunders’ artwork was a lucky dip of the Instagram algorithm. Suddenly on my explore page there was a riso print of a study on T-dicks, and I was intrigued immediately. I was especially intrigued, because I’d recently attended and modelled for a queer, trans, disabled life drawing workshop**, and had been filled with feelings about not getting enough exposure to other types of bodies in life drawing workshop and how powerful it had been to be able to draw such a variety of bodies, and how powerful it had been to see such a variety of bodies in a nonsexual setting. I wanted my art to be more encompassing, I wanted the enrichment provided by the normalisation of seeing a variety of bodies more regularly. I wanted the T-dick study print, but didn’t have money at the time, so I just gave Ben’s account a follow and figured I’d get to it eventually.

Then I saw him post about STRAP. As soon as I saw the post, I knew I had to have it. A queer trans masc magazine, possibly the first of its kind? It seemed like everything I was looking for. The post had advertised it as a steamy, sexy magazine. My first thought was that it would be something for me to use so I didn’t have to turn to or rely on the internet. I had to wait a little while before I could afford it, and felt a little like I had splurged on it when I finally bought it. But then it arrived.

In my hands were 200+ glossy pieces of beautiful, queer, trans artwork. I could feel the queer and trans joy radiating from the pages. As soon as I opened it and my roommate and I read the first couple of pages, we were both tearing up. All of the artwork in this magazine is incredibly beautiful and the compilation itself is a masterpiece. Neither of us had ever seen anything like this before. I had to immediately get another copy, signed, because I wanted to unbind it to put its pages on my walls and then decided I also wanted it for my archive and that it is a beautiful piece of history to have a copy of the first issue. I'm glad there was an option to get the magazine signed, because it feels like it makes having a copy of issue one even more special.

I got a little bit obsessed with the magazine after it came into my life. I looked at all of Ben’s posts about the process of creating the magazine, and noticed some photos of copies that had artwork that wasn’t in my copy. I found out from Ben that there has been a second print run which doesn't have work from two artists who were in the original print run, which was agreed between the artists and Ben before the second batch went to print. I would have loved to have discovered STRAP when it was first being printed so I could have had one of the first print runs of the first issue, I think that would have been an incredible piece of history to behold. Nonetheless, I told all the trans masc people in my life about the magazine, and then carried on telling other people about it even if they weren’t trans masc. The magazine was particularly exciting for me because I didn’t necessarily expect to feel like I was represented in the artwork because I am genderqueer and less aligned with the binaries, but I was blown away to still see bodies like mine portrayed in a variety of ways, alongside bodies like those of the people I love. It filled me with inspiration.

The signed copy now sits in my zine archive, and all of my trans masc friends know that they’re always welcome round to flick through it or to borrow it if they want to. Pages from the magazine are now proudly displayed on my walls. I am sure that this magazine will influence the way that I create in the future. Ben did an amazing job of curating inclusive content, something I have tried to do in my own creations. I wasn’t sure what to expect, whether it was a photobook, or if there were other artistic mediums, and as a writer myself, I was of course drawn to the writing within the book. Aside from Ben’s lovely introduction, there is poetry scattered throughout STRAP as well as pieces of prose. I was particularly moved by a poem by Em (@lavenderandkerosene on Instagram) and a piece written by Bunnyteef (@bunnyteef2 on Instagram) titled ‘the Desirability of the Impassioned Shapeshifter.’ Bunnyteef’s piece discusses “how healing the trans and queer community, specifically that of T4T relationships, can be and how affirming we can be to each other especially in regards to sex and sensuality,” a comment which resonated with me deeply. I have been queer since I was a young teenager, and I have been identifying as genderqueer since my mid teens, but only in the last couple of years have been dating people who identify outside of the gender binary and can hardly express the positive impact that has had on my experience of identity, sex, and sensuality. We need more pieces that discuss this powerful force of queer joy, unapologetically. I also loved how Bunnyteef discussed that the purpose of the photobook is to get people to consider the way that they view transmasculine people. It has made an incredibly healing difference to see a magazine curated by the people within my community who are portraying my community outside of fetishization. I am really looking forward to the second issue of STRAP and more positive representation. I have been ravenous, now, for more queer and trans art, more depictions of T4T love and joy, and the normalisation of all different appearances in our regular field of vision.

I think it is important to note, however, that queer creators walk a difficult line at present. The magazine came to me, and shortly following its delivery, I read the tragic news from my home country about the death of the teenager, Nex Benedict. We are in the midst of an ongoing genocide, and cannot look away. Everything feels terrible and sad and terrifying right now, and STRAP sat on my pillow next to my head for days after the news, like a beacon of hope that held me. When the grief was too immense, I would flip through the pages, and it would soothe me. Queer art felt like the only thing that could hold me in my grief at the time - reminding me that there is still, has always been, and will always be queer joy and queer resistance.

The difficult line that queer creators walk at present is when it comes to their personal brand whether or not to sell their creations as queer work. There comes the dilemma of knowing that your work is inherently going to be queer if you are queer, and the desire to be more than one thing. When art is only about one thing, it may feel like it falls flat, or like making it is trying too hard, and like selling it is a chore. But there is also no denying who you are. At present, it feels particularly challenging, because it might feel wrong to draw attention to anything that isn’t calling for a ceasefire. Except - everyone has to be able to afford to meet their needs - and everyone deserves to be able to afford nice things and little treats, too.

Those interested in purchasing a copy of STRAP can find it on Ben's Etsy here.

*the aforementioned band can be found here.

**the queer, trans, disabled life drawing workshop was hosted by QueerOutLoud.