How To Be Fully Human

I am a whole human. No matter what I wear, what I do, what I say, how I style myself, how much I cry, how competitive I am, how strong of a leader I am, how vengeful, how brave or afraid or thoughtful or flawed….

I am NOT defined by a gender. I am defined by my humanity.

Boys should care. Caring is a human trait. Girls should fight for what they want. Battling injustice is a human trait. All people, all genders should embrace their humanity first and foremost.

Aren't we all sick of hearing that 'women' should be pretty? Be perfect, be skinny, be soft, be gentle, be submissive, be obedient, be doormats, be easily silenced, be small, be anything less than their true selves?

And, supposedly, because I was randomly born with certain genitals or hormones or traits that I never consented to, I'm now supposed to squeeze into this too-small, too-tight, too-suffocatingly stupid little box.

No.

I AM A HUMAN BEING.

Having a human experience. And however I decide to do that is my decision. And my decision, alone.

I AM A WHOLE HUMAN.

Not a reduction of hormones, or aesthetics or pre-prescribed traits or stupid genitals. I am not some ridiculous, antiquated, outdated, pre-determined stereotype.

Fuck that.

Do you know why there’s an entire generation revolting against gender stereotypes? Why so many GenZ are changing their identities, crossing spectrums & claiming new territory for themselves?

It’s because the binaries we’ve been given are so shitty.

Why should we have choose if we want to be “masculine” or “feminine”? Why? What if we want to be both, all the time, anytime we want? What if we’re neither? What if we love what we love, by our choices alone? What if we all just choose our own traits, aesthetics, hobbies and boundaries?

Because these binaries suck.

And what kind of world are they giving us?

They’re giving us rage-filled teen boys who are so terrified of looking “weak” and experiencing real human emotions that they become emotionally retarded. Instead of learning to communicate difficult feelings they are buying guns, becoming bullies, killers, and shooting up schools.

These binaries are giving us miserable women who are reduced to only what they can do for everyone else - and then resent their families, children and churches for forcing them into being a martyr - always putting others’ needs before their own, giving up their dreams to carry the weights of other people's needs, lives and expectations.

These binaries are giving us toxic relationship dynamics where men are disgusted by “feminine’ traits so they do not respect or listen to women. These binaries are giving us dangerous r*pe culture and “alpha” males. These binaries are giving us angry women who tear down and hate on other women and take away their rights because they feel they have to “compete” or be "better than" after growing up with decades of internalized misogyny.

It’s disgusting.

We’re all bigger than these stereotypes.

And we can do so much better than this.

Please take some time to read these words below. And then repeat them out loud to yourself:

I AM A WHOLE HUMAN.

No matter what I wear, what I do, what I say, how I style myself, how much I cry, how competitive I am, how strong of a leader I am, how vengeful, how brave or afraid or thoughtful or flawed….

I am NOT defined by a gender.

I am defined by my humanity.

And today, I am choosing to be fully human. To fully feel, experience and live my life.

I am a whole human. Having human experience. Amen.