Coming Out

In honor of Pride month, this is my coming out. Hi, my name is Sara and I am Gender Fluid and Pansexual. Basically this means I go by any pronouns (but I prefer they/them) and some days I feel like a woman and others I have no gender or feel like a guy. It is usually no gender but I feel exceptionally like a woman or guy other days. Pansexual means I like everyone, gender doesn't matter to me. I think there is a deep power in finding who you are, accepting who you are and running with it.

I have struggled with sexuality and gender identity ever since I can remember. I first thought I was pansexual at 9. That was the first time I heard a word for what I was feeling. It made so much sense. But since, I have struggled with feeling Bisexual and at one point I even came out as a Lesbian.. then I got with a dude. So that didn't work out. But being pansexual feels so right for me. I have been attracted to many people in my life and I know that will be ever changing. I am more attracted to someone's personality and their looks do play a part in it but not the biggest part by any means.

Ah, gender. If you have never struggled with your gender, please consider yourself lucky. I started to explore my gender a few years ago but never felt fully comfortable being anything other than my assigned gender. Then I started to get confidence, I started to work in an LGBTQIA+ position, I started to truly come into who I was. So gender, of course, had to pop up again. I never thought I was trans, so that thankfully took one off the table. But if you really look into it, there are a lot of genders to choose from. Non binary felt so right.. at first. I love they/them pronouns, I love love love not being perceived as a woman, but sometimes I like she/her? I have had people question my gender and that brings euphoria like no other. I really dug into what this meant and what it meant for me. After months and months of trying to figure myself out.. I officially came out on Twitter as Pansexual and Gender Fluid. It feels so right.

What truly shifted for me through this process was my own acceptance of myself. I belong to me and I accept myself, so I don't need anyone else to accept me or to belong to anyone else. I don't cringe when being misgendered and I don't cringe when someone doesn't understand me. I just smile and move on. It has been so freeing to get to this point. I have found out what I needed to feel my best and to fully be okay with who I am and how I present. I don't care if I present masculine or feminine or androgynous any day. I am who I am and I love that person.

This was my coming out to you all. I finally feel comfortable enough to do that. I also want to send a message to those that may be struggling with their sexuality and/or their gender identity. You are valid. No matter how long you struggle or if you "change" your mind, whatever happens, you are valid. Sexuality and gender are fluid and can change over time and over self exploration periods. You are valid. You are needed. You are perfect just the way you are. Being a part of the LGBTQIA+ community has been the most life changing thing for me and I hope it treats you all the same.

If you are struggling, The Trevor Project is an LGBTQIA+ Crisis Organization. They offer chat, text and phone call services.

(866) - 488-7386 (Hotline)

678-678 (Texting)

thetrevorproject.org (chat and resources)