My Greatest Mistake with Weed

by J. P. Frattini about a year ago in humor

Yup, I'm going there.

My Greatest Mistake with Weed

Just to clarify to everyone, I’m far from a regular "wake n' bake" user. My tolerance isn't that high, so that kind of makes this story even more sad.

About a month ago, one of my best friends gave me 3.5 grams of Sour Diesel and a piece. So yeah, obviously I had to use it. It was free stuff, why not? I had used two times before (small edibles), but that was over a month prior. I took it home, and slowly started making dents in the bud.

But then about a week ago, something clicked in my head. I still had at least 2.5 grams left, and nobody is home. Let’s try making some edibles. But not proper edibles! I’m talking firecrackers, because who has time to make canabutter when your parents will only be gone for six hours? I also didn’t have a proper scale. I had my mother’s WeightWatchers scale, which isn’t sensitive enough to measure a ground herb. So I pulled up a video reference (on my old iPhone screen) and prepared what looked like about half a gram, give or take. I also didn't have any proper baking supplies, so I settled on melting some chocolate chips with some all natural peanut-butter (because you might as well be healthy about it), and putting it between two graham crackers. I baked it in the oven for a bit, made some chocolate/peanut butter spread, put the weed in, smashed it between the graham crackers, and baked it again. Twenty minutes later my kitchen smelled really dank, so out of desperation I ran to get Febreeze and sprayed it everywhere. But, I had successfully made my first edible.

The next day I woke up early and got all my stuff done. No work, no classes, open schedule. However, I did have to run to the grocery store. When I made it to the parking lot, I ate the edible. Considering I didn’t know exactly how much was in there, I ate the whole thing. I could feel my legs going numb while I was checking out, so I ran out and gunned it back home. Thankfully, I had made it home before everything else kicked in, but something did not feel right. I had a pulsating numbness cover my whole body, and my hands started to shake. And this was right after the series of overdoses in New Haven with laced synthetic marijuana, and I live in CT so I got absolutely terrified that I was going to die. This began at about 10 AM, I went to sleep at 12 PM, woke up at 5:45 still high as fuck. And I walk downstairs to see my father, cooking dinner. I knew I couldn’t panic because then he’d know, so I sat down and tried to not laugh at everything I saw. He asked me how I was doing, and I said I felt sick as I then proceeded to eat everything on my plate. But that numbness didn’t end, I actually started feeling it in my mouth and I was constantly making sure that I wasn’t drooling all over the place.

Thankfully he didn’t need me to do anything that night, so I was going to go to my room, but then he puts on Bill Burr. That was it. That hour was the best time I ever spent with my dad, and he had no idea I was high. Those effects though, I felt from 10 AM to 10:30 PM, which is pretty ridiculous, and the paranoia was awful trying to fall back asleep with.

The next day wasn't much better. My eyes were foggy and I was still slow and loopy from my experience. I did have to work that day as well, which was obviously a great time. So if you have learned anything from my mistake, measure out your weed accurately.

How does it work?
Read next: Top Stoner TV Shows
J. P. Frattini

Culture, music, politics, art. It's all fair game to me

Follow Me on Twitter:

See all posts by J. P. Frattini