Everything to keep you dazed and confused.
Hey hey! 👋 What it do? How’s it goin; how are you? MiMi is GOOT with a T, but I ain’t fittin to lie to y’all, I’m always skeptical when tryin a new cannabis product mainly because I honestly don’t have the disposable income to play around with my healing and I’d it don’t work, I’ma be mad.
For those of you who don’t know me nor my story, I could go into depth just to fulfill my written word quota of the day, but I achieved THAT goal earlier. 🤪
5 Types of Stoners - the Documentary
National Geographic loves shoving the same shark and cat documentaries down the audience’s throats, which is perfectly reasonable when considering that we haven’t gotten a new animal from God ever since the great flood.
How A Trip To The Store Became A Fiasco
My friends and I went to the store the other day. I didn’t need their help but they had nothing better to do so they came along for fun.
Today was the first day of my new job as a joint packer. This is my story (the Law & Order intro sound effects play in the background.) no names have been mentioned due to privacy concerns. Please enjoy this peek into my journey as I enter into the new and bustling industry of cannabis.
The Weed Cat
You ever wonder where all those brilliant high thoughts go after they leave your brain — as though some magical creature came and stole them away?
I Fucked Around With Drugs and Found Out
I let Daren the Lion down. I said yes to drugs. In my defense, I did try to uphold my Drug Abuse Resistance Education vows. I didn't drink until I was twenty, and I didn't smoke weed until a few years after that. I’ve never touched hard drugs like meth or heroin, but I did enjoy the occasional acid trip in my early twenties, which is where my coming-of-age story begins.
Kafka's Chocolate Cake
Arriving at the dispensary late Friday afternoon, I waited in the lobby for my name to be called. While waiting to be summoned I realized, from experience, that Fridays were typically busy. Cannabis users usually stocked their inventories for the weekend. After all, where was the fun on Saturday morning without a good bong hit to start the weekend?
The Weed Cat
You ever wonder where all those brilliant high thoughts go after they leave your brain? As though some magical creature came and stole them away. In some countries it’s the Weed Fairy. In others, it’s the Californian Chronic. But for much of the world it’s the legend of The Weed Cat. The Cannabis Cat is the hip dude that brings you the sticky icky when you need it most, but in payment takes your high ideas and weed dreams, leaving you confused and groggy the next day. Here is his story:
When it's Dry Outside
When It's Dry Outside Has it ever been dry in your town? I mean, you really got it bad. You call your plug, he doesn't answer, so you hang up and call right back. You know, if you go a day without some smoke, your whole life is off track. You're stuck in the house; you don't want to have fun. All you want is some smoke, so you sit on the edge of your bed and looking like Usher. Finally, the plug hits you back, and he will be there in 15 minutes. An hour later, he arrives with some new shit. You liked the old shit, and you don't know anything about this new shit. But he swears up and down that it's better than the last shit and throws in an extra gram for any inconvenience. You roll up the whole gram. At first, you don't feel anything, but then you start to peek, and then you can't remember what you've been doing for the last hour.
Fix the Fishy Preroll Finish
You’ve just left “the last” cannabis dispensary in your legal state. The billboard by the highway warned you that a dreaded circumstance was coming up. That choice between risking your good name and dumping all of your medicine. Anyone who has left their weed legal state to cross an imaginary line to potentially and suddenly become a felon knows that decision.
My First High
What better way to kick things off than to tell the story of the first time I ever tried weed? It seems like the right place to start.