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How To Smoke Weed At Work

Expert potheads give advice on how to smoke weed at work without getting caught or arrested.

By Skunk UzekiPublished 6 years ago 6 min read

The idea that there would be guides on how to smoke weed at work would have been laughable 10, 15, or 20 years ago. Weed was still very taboo, and even possessing it while on the job would almost always mean a call to the local police department, handcuffs, and a termination notice.

Boy, how times have changed.

Though it's not always advisable, the truth is that there's now a decent chunk of employed professionals who are pretty open about smoking weed at work. Cannabis also isn't as stigmatized as it was, and more people are willing to hire pot smoking job applicants than before.

Therefore, there's now a demand to know how to smoke weed at work. So, we decided to ask the experts about how to smoke weed at work - without having to deal with the fallout that could possibly happen. This is the advice they gave us.

"Choose the right job."

Before we even get into the mechanics of how to smoke weed at work, we need to talk about your career choices and job choices. A huge portion of being able to enjoy marijuana during your working day is choosing a career that is weed-friendly, in a state that has legalized marijuana in some form or another.

If you're working day after day around customers, chances are that you can't smoke weed at work and expect to stay hired. People will complain, and you will get fired for being a drug user.

Obviously, if you work around kids or work jobs that involve heavy machinery, it's not only a bad idea to smoke weed at work - it's highly likely that it will get you arrested, regardless of its legal status.

If you want to smoke weed at work, make sure that your workplace has the following things true before you even consider trying it:

  • Your work is in a location where weed is legalized. Should you be caught with drugs on most work campuses, company policy will be to call the police. This is almost always the case in states where weed is illegal, as it can be a workplace insurance issue. You don't want to end up in cuffs just from accidentally dropping a baggie.
  • Your job doesn't drug test. Drug testing means marijuana usage may be immediate grounds for termination. Don't do that.
  • Smoking weed will not impair your performance or image. Doing science work, dealing with customers, working with heavy machinery, or doing brain surgery isn't advisable on weed. You should know this, though; it's common sense. Ideally, the job you'll be working will be one where smoking will enhance output. Creative jobs often will allow you to work weed-friendly tasks, for example.
  • Your office is friendly to marijuana. Every work culture will be a bit different. Some will have a very hardline, strict view on smoking weed at work. It's possible that some companies may not even allow tobacco smoking job applicants to work there. In other words, work at the office for a while and get a feel for the environment. If your boss is a cannabis fan, for example, chances are high that you will be able to have a weed smoke break.
  • If you work at home, you're probably good to go as long as your neighbors won't report you to the police. Assuming that you're in a legalized state, this probably won't happen anyway.

"Be as discreet as possible."

Let's say that you have a job that won't get you canned for smoking cannabis. That's great. Now, let's get to the down and dirty about smoking pot on the job.

If you want to learn how to smoke weed at work, the first step is learning how to be discreet about it.

First off, let's talk about bringing weed to work. Don't just bring bags of weed at work and leave them out on counters or desks. When transporting weed, you want to make sure that your boss and coworkers won't smell it. Skunk Sack baggies, as a result, are great for this.

Now, along with your bag of weed, you're going to need to assemble a good stoner's kit. Make sure that the weed that you bring is going to be pre-packed, pre-ground, and just ready to go in a one-hitter vape pen. Lastly, your stoner's kit should also include eye drops, mints, and maybe a light deodorant to cover up any smell that gets on your clothes.

Ideally, the stoner's kit will be small enough to fit in a shirt pocket or purse without issue. The less recognizable it is, the better. After all, even if it is a marijuana-friendly environment, it's still a matter of image and respect. You need to keep things professional.

One last tip on how to smoke weed - don't be the idiot who uses joints, bongs, or similarly obvious smoking methods. One hitters and vape pens are the best options, with one hitter-style vape pens being the best.

"Speaking of being discreet, make a point of taking a walk when you smoke."

Yes, we know that this is a guide on how to smoke weed at work, but the key to being successful at smoking weed on the job is often distancing yourself from the workspace. Walking also allows the smell of the weed to "air out" off your clothing.

Even if you don't smell anything, you need to talk a walk. Chances are that you reek of weed and you're used to the smell because you just smoked a joint. Others will be able to smell the weed smoke on you - even if you can't.

90 percent of the time, the moment that your boss smells weed inside the office walls, it's going to be grounds for a stern talking-to, termination, or a lot of unwanted questions.

There are only a handful of times when this is not true:

  • You somehow landed a pot smoking job. Maybe you just are a real-life cannaseur. In this case, you don't need to learn how to smoke pot at work. Pot is your work, and you're a lucky person.
  • Your boss regularly smokes pot in the office and said it's okay for you to join him. It's rare, but it does happen.
  • You work in a cannabis dispensary. Assuming you're not stealing from the store and it's okay by the dispensary's policies, you probably don't need to take a walk. People probably expect you to smell like pot.
  • You work alone. If you work alone, no one will know or care if you smoke at work.

"Sativa, not Indica."

Indica strains tend to make you sleepy, while Sativa strains tend to be the ones that make you upbeat, giddy, and awake. Being sedated on the job is generally a bad idea, and it is way more noticeable than being a little bit happier than usual.

That being said, it's also a bad idea to try to do much involving highly mathematic or scientific stuff while you're "lazy stoned," too.

"Also, if it's for medical use, you may need to discuss it with your employer."

Medical marijuana may be a protected under certain state laws. Do your research to find out if this is the case. If it is, you may need to bring your medical marijuana card with you to work if you choose to smoke weed at work.

"Really, though, it's most likely not a good idea."

If you have to search up how to smoke marijuana at work without being caught, you probably should know that it's not a good idea. It's better to just work sober, and let the high times be after work. A typical working day is only eight or so hours long. You can live that long without a joint, right?

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About the Creator

Skunk Uzeki

Skunk Uzeki is an androgynous pothead and a hard partier. When they aren't drinking and causing trouble, they're writing articles about the fun times they have.

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