Your Mind Is a Liar

Let me tell you a not so secret, secret: The voices in your head are liars.

I’m sure you know the ones I’m talking about.

“You’re not good enough for them.”

“You can’t wear that dress because you’re fat.”

“The world would be a better place if you weren’t in it.”

Each and every one of these voices stems from a twisted view of our reality shaped from youth up. From the very beginning of our life, we are surrounded by media telling us how we should look, act, and dress. Our peers, no matter how well-meaning, can often say crude and cruel things. Everyone is their own best critic, but in doing so, they are very good at critiquing all the people around them.

This idealistic view of perfection is neither achievable nor logical. Humans are innately imperfect. There is no standard of normal to base what “beauty” might truly be. It changes from decade to decade. Three centuries ago, a woman with a large body would be considered very desirable, because it was a symbol of her wealth. Today, however, that same woman would be judged derisively, no matter her financial standing.

What can one do to control these wayward, lying thoughts? First, and most important is to realize that they only have as much power as we give them. When dealing with things like depression and anxiety, we may not ever have full control over what pops into our mind, but we do have control over the belief we put into them. If we believe what our mind is telling us, then we’re going to be affected by the negativity. But we can counteract any negative with a positive.

“You are worthy.”

“You’ve worked hard for this body, wear that dress!”

“You are loved. You deserve life.”

As with the negative thoughts, we must put our beliefs into the positive thoughts. Granted, this is so much harder to do than believing the bad things about ourselves. This is because we are surrounded by a world that says we should be confident but then scolds us for being happy when we like who we are.

Another thing to remember is this: You do not owe it to anyone to change. You do not owe it to anyone to be pretty. If there is something you don’t like about yourself, make the motivation behind your change for yourself, and only yourself. The only thing you owe anybody is human decency and kindness. The likelihood is, if the person didn’t like you before, they won’t after. And if they do, it is completely superficial, and you deserve so much more than that.

Surround yourself with people who know and understand your true worth. Spend time with ones who you are comfortable with, those you are completely and entirely your true self with. Purging toxic energy in the form of your association makes a large difference. Don’t keep company with people who bring you down. The people who you spend your time with, contribute in part to shaping how you think. Keep positive company so you think positively.

It all comes down to honoring who you are. The liars in your head hold no power over you if you are taking control of your life. It is a slow process. It’s a hard process. The rewards, however, are worth so much more than the work you’ll put in.

What do you think you can do to battle against the lies your mind tells you?

Tug of War Toy

Sometimes I feel like two different people.

One side optimistic, the other one evil.

The evil one laughs at the clothes on my back,

Pointing and scowling: “My God you’ve gotten fat.”

Optimistic says: “Dear, your hair looks fantastic. Let’s take a picture and dance like a spastic!”

But the evil one argues and fights against the joy.

“Who’d want to see your face? You look like a boy!”

And here I am stuck in the middle.

A tug of war for two different people.

Just once I’d like for both to agree

That maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to be me.

~ t.w