You want to get some coffee?

I can’t have ur number

What kinds of wounds will that open up

Will the vibration of my phone sink me into the ground

The dreadful glance over my shoulder every time I check

for

you, my bones tight and weary from expectation

Will I become a shell like last time

My cracks widening every time u laugh

I’m asking u

What will we make of this

Can we just hang out

Or will this haunt me forever

Ur smile in every reflection

Time suffocating us until we can no longer remember what’s it’s like to have held each other’s hands

Will it be worth it

Your number, should I have it

Will it make the agonizing weight of the world feel less heavy

At what cost

Will my mind just loop u in to the other conversations in my head

Or will u be all I see and hear and feel

My casket made ready for me as we speak

What will ur mind do

How heavy will this weigh on u

How do u experience the world

Will u cry at night

Ur alcohol soaked tears burning ur soft cheeks

My hands are tired from prayer

My eyes tired from being witnesses

My imagination tired of hope

My spirit a shadow

I just think u smell like flowers

But I have to remind myself

That flowers die too

My chest is already burning

And I haven’t even asked the first question

Maybe in another world

I’ll take ur number

And we can talk without

Having to worry about the end

Of everything