wishes of yesterday

My wishes were once an elaborate ask. I set the universe to immense task. I asked for wealth and fame and riches. I asked for perfection without any glitches. I asked for the world to be set free and mostly for a family to appreciate me.

✨

I read of people who the world revered and I aspired to be someone they would also endear. I asked to become like one of the greats - like Gandhi, Mother Theresa or MLK. I hoped that I could somehow prove myself worthy enough for people to choose.

✨

I asked for the greatest love ever known. I asked for it all and so the seeds were sown. I was gifted resources and devoured their study. Philosophy, psychology, how to make money. I read and researched theories on love and realised the path outlined from above.

✨

Virtue was the order to follow to find true love in some distant tomorrow. The more I read of those with success the faster I learned how they became the best. Compassion, forgiveness and an open heart were the necessary tools to get a head start.

✨

And those were gained through choice and determination, and ignoring those clutching indignation. Lies told about the rich being thieves were created from the darkness of poverty. Very few actually wear that crown and besides - eventually karma crumbles them down.

✨

For cannibals never live as long as herbivores with love and song. They spend life leeching from weaker prey living in cunning and spiritual decay. Arguably they never live at all they merely exist calculating how not to fall.

✨

The wealthy people to be admired all choose love as fuel for their fire. So I sought to be like each of them, of service to my fellow man. I was already heavily driven to evolve, to view any problem as something to solve.

✨

And on that path I found out this, the irony to seeking true love bliss. It starts with undoing what you are not, in behaviour, reaction and even thought. It’s about aligning with your soul, not chasing some perceived goal.

✨

The love for which I deeply yearned was never something supposed to be earned. Not something to chase, seek or become, I just had to unravel the damage done. I never had to seek out bliss, I only had to undo this.

✨

And now, today, after all this time? I’ve come full circle on these wishes of mine. I ask each day for peace and protection. I ask for guidance and direction. My other wishes are such simple asks, humble requests for all I once had. The life I used to think was bad.

✨

Only two have stayed the same, remaining untouched throughout this game. I still ask for the world to be set free and mostly for a family to appreciate me. The others are but little requests, cherries on top of a cake already dressed.

✨

Oh to have a bath again! To eat fresh raspberries or dance in the rain! To go on a lengthy forest walk or just have a friend with whom to talk. To be in a city or town, watching people go by with laughter or frown.

✨

To smell coffee from some generic Starbucks, to have people glance my way and give no fucks. To hear people laugh and chatter, even join in for a natter. To swim against the ocean tide or take a lengthy bicycle ride.

✨

To grow vegetables and plant trees, wildflowers for the honey bees. To have an open fire at night, to sit in awe of stars and moonlight. To be able to sleep in a comfortable bed, with a soft pillow on which to rest my head.

✨

To live without constant fear or threat, to live in a land where truth isn’t something to forget. To gain back all that I once had, that would make me forever glad.