I was raised to love,
with my whole heart,
Nurtured to believe I was whole from the start,
That my feelings have value,
That there was nothing I couldn't do,
I was nurtured to believe in my truth,
Speak to my own beat,
With the support of where I could leap,
But overtime,
that empowerment has turned weak,
I no longer speak without hesitation,
carefully proceeding words of manipulation,
Words that I know are safe,
Treading in conversations that take me to a place,
That I have processed,
That I know,
Somewhere I am not afraid to go,
Somewhere where I know the reaction,
That my growth comes off as attractive,
But its honestly,
Not true vulnerability,
Its predictability,
Because I am no longer whole like I once believed,
My voice has been taken out of context,
twisted, scorned and used in defense,
Every time I love someone,
I give them everything my heart has to give,
And when we part,
They move on with a fresh start,
And I leave without another piece of my heart,
But then when I try to move on,
I have less and less to give,
To yet another person I want to believe in,
But I am no longer sure what it feels like to have my heart safe,
Is there a place,
Where my deepest wounds don't have to hide,
Where I am comfortable to sit and cry,
And feel heard and held,
Where I can feel known without having to tell,
I want to be whole on my own,
With that young girls hope on where she could go,
But I have been torn a few times,
Through the hope of love, but lost in the cries and lies,
I'm not entirely sure, what whole even feels like,
And I still dream of having a partner to a better life,
Someone to say good morning and good night to,
Someone where I can speak my truth,
without the fear of losing them too,
But for now,
I will keep treading the water I know I can swim in,
Learn everything I can about them,
Maybe let myself fall in love again,
But will I ever be able to let them in?
About the Creator
Rilee Arey
What a life we live, Lets live a life where we have something to write home about!
27-year-old trying to find meaning, love and a life worth living.
Comments (2)
Heartbreaking. Sometimes it's hardest to remember to love ourselves.
😁❤️🩹nice piece‼️