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Who I Used to Be

A Story in a Glass

By Harbor BenassaPublished 4 months ago Updated 4 months ago 1 min read
First Place in Villanelle Challenge
51
Who I Used to Be
Photo by Alex Boyd on Unsplash

I swirl the milk into my Thai iced tea,

Bright orange leaks down to swallow translucence.

I don't remember who I used to be.

***

Through the haze of scrupulosity

Peeks between earth a green shoot of innocence.

I swirl the milk into my Thai iced tea.

***

On the edges of her memory,

Drops of freedom cleanse her from life's viciousness.

I don't remember who I used to be.

***

When she wanders through that hallowed library,

She shrinks under the burden of experience.

I swirl the milk into my Thai iced tea.

***

She suffers not for my disloyalty,

Rough hands raw and bare of recompense.

I don't remember who I used to be.

***

My wayward girl, where is your bravery?

There will never be an ideal audience.

I swirl the milk into my Thai iced tea.

I don't remember who I used to be.

performance poetryVillanellesad poetryheartbreakart
51

About the Creator

Harbor Benassa

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  3. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  4. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  5. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

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Comments (33)

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  • L.C. Schäfer2 months ago

    Love how the imagery is swirled through, just like the milk swirling through the tea. It's a follow from me 😊

  • sleepy drafts3 months ago

    This is so beautiful and filled with so much heartbreak and emotion. Beautifully done. So many of these lines I just wanted to linger over. Congratulations!! This is such a well-deserved win.

  • J. R. Lowe3 months ago

    This was wonderful. Very elegantly written. Congratulations!

  • Gina R (Gibana)3 months ago

    Beautiful

  • Chloe Gilholy3 months ago

    I really want a Thai milk tea after this. Wonderful use of imagery.

  • Ava Mack3 months ago

    Congrats on your win! I love the repeated action of "swirling the milk into my Thai iced tea" throughout - it brings the meter and beat of the villanelle rhyme structure to life!

  • Deasun T. Smyth4 months ago

    Outstanding, congratulations. 😀👍🍁

  • Alison McBain4 months ago

    This was masterfully done. Congrats on the win!

  • Carly Rowe4 months ago

    Congratulations very well deserved! Beautiful!

  • Daphsam4 months ago

    Congratulations on your win!

  • Natalie Wilkinson4 months ago

    Congratulations ! Well deserved !

  • Gina C.4 months ago

    This is powerful, meaningful, and so wonderfully done! Congratulations! 🤗 Very well-deserved 🤗

  • Caroline Craven4 months ago

    Gosh. This totally deserved to win. Great writing. Well done.

  • Shirley Belk4 months ago

    Congratulations!

  • Grz Colm4 months ago

    A haunting villanelle in the ordinary moments with Rich descriptions. Well done and congrats on your prize! 😁👏🥳

  • Shaun Walters4 months ago

    Congratulations!

  • Hannah Moore4 months ago

    Love that last stanza

  • Alison Brooke4 months ago

    Congrats! Lovely poem

  • Penny Fuller4 months ago

    What lovely imagery. It was a well-deserved win. Congratulations!

  • D.K. Shepard4 months ago

    Congratulations! Really captivating lines and a beautifully executed villanelle!

  • Congratulations on your win!

  • Tressa Rose4 months ago

    This was beautifully written! Congratulations, well deserved!

  • Dana Crandell4 months ago

    This is gorgeous. Congratulations on the win!

  • Novel Allen4 months ago

    Congrats.

  • Babs Iverson4 months ago

    Congratulations!!!

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