when the monsters inside me…

your slurs blunder all day

your mouth won’t shut

your voice heard

in each and every room

scarcely scattered scat

simultaneously stingy

squeezing my skull

baby boy in adult surroundings

man with a pacifier

stuck in his full mouth

a boisterous, bragging blunt

blatantly

imitating

heroes he wanted to be

pumping ego into his muscles

earnestly

he’s living in a dream

not in reality

still sixteen

I was twenty when I got sick

I didn’t know what to do with it

no knowledge, no abilities, no dispositions

to handle challenging situations

neither do they

psychology is not taught

in school

so, what are they going to do

then

when sickness can overwhelm them

at any time

in their twenties

when is the best time for it

no earlier, no later

just exact time

to break every, even the hardest heart

and forget about

the smallest scrap

of any civilised dab