When I’m Gone

It doesn’t matter how hard I try,....

you are there to hold me up when it benefits you;

but quick to turn your back when I need you too.

Upon you, Reality never quite shines it’s true light,

Maybe a life with me isn’t worth all the fight...

All I want is a love that is true

Someone I can lean on when I’m feeling blue;

Alone I was feeling kinda sad,

but in reality, I wasn’t doing so bad.

My heart has beaten for you for so long,

I thought that trying again wouldn’t be too wrong.

But history has a way of coming back to haunt;

And addiction sneaks it’s way back so it can flaunt.

We used to have something so great;

now I can’t see if it’s real love or just borderline hate.

Things just aren’t what they used to be,

But leaving you feels like death to me.

Yes I may have done you wrong,

But you have been a monster for far too long.

You say the way that I hurt you made you cringe,

But I couldn’t take the abuse you gave me under one more binge.

Two wrongs together will never make a right;

But both of us are hurt and all we do is fight.

I’m not sure if being together is what we need;

Maybe sometime apart will give us the lead...

I don’t know how to continue on at the pace we are going,

I know you can see how bright the pain my face is showing.

It hurts to be with you, but it hurts to let you go.

Can we make it through the storm? I don’t even know.

I used to think there was nothing we couldn’t beat;

Now shits so tough I don’t think I can survive anymore heat.

Is what we had strong enough to get us thru?

Or has it already broken and come completely unglued?

Another night I feel sad and broken,

So many words of hate we have both spoken.

I love you and I know I need you,

But can we forgive each other, I have no clue

I wish we could turn back the hands of time

Go back to when your heart was completely mine.

Forever caught up in a love that’s not the same,

Stuck in a horrible cycle of anger and blame.

How do we know when we reach the point of no return,

When are we gonna finally see that maybe we gotta just let it burn

I’m tired of living so angry, upset and sad,

Life is too short to waste it chasing a perfect love maybe we never had....

It’s time to decide; do you still truly love me enough to spend another year?

If I am in your future, love me like I’m dying or run out of my life likey a feral cat in fear.

Six years as lovers and 23 as friends;

I can’t believe our anniversary may just be the end.

I always thought you were my forever,

Couldn’t have imagined our love could sever.

On the edge of danger we sit,

Is our love so solid we can overcome this shit?

By Nicole Poston