What it Means to Be a Woman
Headlines in Passive Voice
A woman at my local subway station was pushed onto the tracks
She survived, but she lost her feet
*
A man pushed his girlfriend onto the tracks at my local subway station
She survived, but his temper took her feet
*
How do I say this in a way that sounds right? Can something so wrong sound right?
This is something that happened to her, but it's something he did and I know I need him to own that,
I need him to own that without making this woman an object
stripped of her personhood and labeled his despite what he did to her,
but the news writes headlines in passive voice exactly the way I was taught not to in college.
A local woman no longer has feet. She did on Friday. She did on Saturday morning. She got into an argument with her (my god, I hope ex-) boyfriend, and now she has no feet.
He tried to kill her.
When I read the news alert on my phone Saturday evening, I was not surprised.
This is what it means to be a woman.
This is why we say it's all women when they say it's not all men because it's enough men.
It's enough men that this woman was almost murdered by her boyfriend, and now she has no feet,
and I am not surprised.
Her life has been permanently altered, and the headlines say what he did to her in passive voice.
"After woman loses feet in subway shoving, her boyfriend is charged"
like maybe she could have lost them all on her own.
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Comments (5)
I feel like I am forced to read one of these headlines every day, along with a smiling photo of the boyfriend or husband in "better times," before he brutally destroyed a woman's life. I've read a lot of essays about this topic, but you've described this phenomenon in a new and creative way. I grieve for all of us as women in this sick culture.
Fearful. But accept my congratulations!
There's a lot I could say but most of it is swearing. This "(my god, I hope ex-)" drove a stake right through me. The passive voice, the staying because it might be too dangerous to leave, now needing help to even move... This whole thing is haunting. You've done a remarkable job of highlighting something horrible. Somehow the passive voice gets me the worst. It excuses it by hiding the reality of the action. Great job!
Having read through your conversation with Lamar, my fear is that even so she will not hold him accountable & to the status of ex-.
I hope he gets life without parole. It's disturbing that untamed emotions can cause such evil actions. And you're right, tell it like it is, no sugar coating.