What is with the lyrical muse? Why tease me? Give me a finished song PLEASE!

"I wanna write. I wanna write. I wanna write- OUT My PAIN.

I wanna write . I wanna write- OUT MY SHAME.

Take away the blame!"

____________________________________________________

Then as suddenly as it came - THE FLOW STOPS COLD...

Huh? No more melody. No more lyrics come to complete the verse.

I do not understand... This muse thing must tease me. Why?

Just a little taste of creation. Curiosity poked, to expect lyrics to form.

Waiting, anticipating... I might FINALLY get the inspiration.

Enough lyrics to become a complete song?

Disappears without cause. No explanation why... So looks like I'm wrong,

**

AGAIN!

I'm disappointed. The little melody and a few words to a song- ALL I GET!

I am always hoping for a finished song...

But the way she like to play games with me, (muse's tease the inspiration)

I can never count on a completed piece.

Start to hum the melody in my head.

I'm enjoying the little tune.

Surprised to receive a gift from the muse.

**

I try to capture it before it escapes

One never seems to come through to me. It has been a dream of mine to be

In the music profession in some capacity. It is my lifeline.

It's my heartbeat (or at least it's what keeps my heart WANTING TO BEAT)

I wish I could sing as beautifully as those who move me.

So many gorgeous ,POWERFUL vocals to soothe my soul.

Stir it on the inside, my heart's delight.

**

My body may lack the ability to stand and dance as freely as most do.

But into the music's groove I feel my soul wanting to rise.

This is the only sensation that I can compare to flying high.

To get lost in the protective embrace of the song I hear!

So free I feel. As free as I can come to feel, being me.

I'm mostly feeling like a fish out of water.

Suffocating, trapped in a world I don't belong to:

Always hoping to be rescued and returned HOME soon!

Drowning in my awkward appearances.

In my reflection, I see only constant rejection in my future!

With no place for me amongst the vast sea of human beings,

NOT out in the real word: not even in one created in my fantasy.

**

The security Cocoon- I prefer to hide, from myself and all the world

Where I find very little paradise.

Ever constant is the barrage of views to cause fears.

Survey my surroundings in all directions, as I frantically search for the exit.

My music provides, the only space, that justifies my right to exist.

The only place that doesn't cause a desperation to escape and hide away.

So, why can't I carve out a space for me here: Sweet-melodious lyrics.

In the song birthing center of mind. Overflowing with verses, catchy rhyme

Amongst my musician/songwriter friends ? Where I feel HOME is.

I just want to be a part of of this most, cherished group of human beings.

They make me feel most at home- more than any others can.

With music makers around, I'm never lonely or afraid--

MUSIC keeps me company. Music is my protection from life's pains;

Music energizes my body and mind- Brings smiles and light in my eyes!

My only paradise found within these walls of HELL -on this earth.

Music is all I have known for/of/from which there's nothing to fear.

I HEAR IT ... I smile , I feel urge to move. I feel awakened. I FEEL SAFE!

The most sacred tool/gift. SURVIVAL DEPENDS ON IT.

**

Please dear muse, do not tease me again.

If you feel like putting lyrics and melodies in my head another time,

PLEASE ALLOW ME TO KEEP THEM CLEAR... Keep them sharp,

While I grab my paper and pen...Lyrics don't fade from memory.

This time let me write your permanence to stay-As ink to page!

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FINAL PLEA TO THE MUSE

Help me remember them- Let them stay. LONG ENOUGH TO GET SOMETHING TO RECORD THEM ON...BEFORE THEY'RE LOST!

IF I CAN NOT SING WITH AND ENCHANTINGLY BEAUTIFUL VOICE, NOR PLAY AN INSTRUMENT WITH MASTERY PRECISE WITH RHYMIC SKILL- THAT CAUSES SPONTANEOUS DANCE... Let me have a place in the musical creator's bliss - A HOME for me beside my friends.

Muse , give me lyric to write on a page- musical contribution of my own,

To share- to behold as my gift to the world. Maybe I'm not meant to be

on stage, playing guitar, singing heartfelt truths to memorable tunes.

Maybe I lack vocal skills to sing and make people swoon with delight...

OK, SO CAN'T I be entrusted with the gift of lyrics to write?

All I ever dream of, all that every feels right - MUSIC, is what always comes

When I ask to know my purpose, music is all that can see being important

Enough to me, to be worthwhile as a daily life activity-

I would find a bore.

As chores and routines-I don't follow through with doings things which I DO NOT ENJOY!

I'd much rather be having fun playing with music-- Microphones and guitars, drums and the other instruments as my toys.

PLEASE

Let me write the songs that pop in- Let the lyrics in and stay. So I can write them down...give them to my friends to sing- Let me be a part of the music. My Friend . My Home. The reason my heart still beats!