We Just Kinda Lie

We just kinda lie,

Never with the intentions to be malicious or mean,

More so to protect the other one from our promiscuous schemes,

Make sure the other one doesn’t fall insecure when they realize they’re not part of our fantasy or we never saw them in our dreams,

It’s not that they’re not ideal or adequate,

They just don’t match what should be the perfect fit,

Instead it’s a perfect trip,

Then we wake up and realize we’re kind of sick it,

But no one is ever really ready to hear that shit.

So we just kinda lie, you know what I mean?

F: I just kinda lie,

Because it’s a little easier.

The truth is hard to swallow, so you choke a little bit, but no one can save you because you asked for this.

It’s like you’re my attention deficit,

I can’t focus on what’s broken

Because I’m scatter brained,

I get chills whenever you still say my name,

Not warm and fuzzy but scary like it’s all in vain.

But you don’t want to hear that it’s not the same,

I hope we never get in too deep where you think you want forever in this thing,

I hope we lose our ways and gracefully grow apart,

So smooth it doesn’t break either of our hearts,

Or maybe we’ll fix it now so we’ll never have to have another new start,

But the shame is too much,

I still tremble at the feeling of your touch,

So at breakfast I just kinda lie to protect myself from the pain you inflict and we pretend that last night's fight that caused my blackened eye didn’t exist.

We just kinda lie,

I don’t have a reason to why, I guess we’re just habitual with it.

M: I just kinda lie,

Because I rather do it than have to think about the thought of losing,

Not a game or race,

But you with your beautiful face.

I don’t know when it all stops or if I’ll ever change.

Maybe when I’m down on one knee and present you with a ring,

Just to tell you my hopes of changing your lastname.

Maybe it’ll stop when you reject me and the words you answer as to why are all just like a mirror and all they do is reflect me.

Or we could lie for ten more years,

On our anniversary we’ll throw a party,

Put on fake smiles and toast to fake cheers,

Like we’ve been this happy all damn year.

Truth is, we didn’t even want to be here.

Then later that night, we’re arguing

And my hands on your throat get a little too tight,

You’re smaller than me, but you still try to fight,

And there on the floor, shimmering like gold, out of breath and soon to be cold,

The truth lies.

You.

We just kinda lie,

We don’t have a valid reason for these things and that’s biggest reason it’s not okay.