Visit Mum Day

Visit Mum Day

Knots in my stomach

I hate feeling this way

I thicken my skin

It's visit mum day

I walk down the hall

it feels it has no end

Take a deep breath

as I approach the bend

I walk in the room

wishing for a warm embrace

She glares with caution

at the strangers face

I place the flowers down

draw the curtains back

She looks at me like

I am about to attack

She starts screaming loudly

she says it's not true

I do have a daughter

It is not you

Who are you really?

why are you here?

It breaks my heart

her undeniable fear

I walk out the room

try to catch my breath

I wonder if a life lived

and forgotten is worse than death

Maybe I shouldn't have come

because now she's upset

I remind myself

she can't choose who to forget

As I exit the car park

my tyres spin on the gravel

I swear I can feel my heart

start to unravel

This torture in a way

I do to myself

I could never put her

on the too hard shelf.