tu sei un meschino

Tu sei un meschino...

When I rant to my therapist about you, i want the last bits of my love for you to go up in flames

I want to strike the match and let the heat reign on its own kingdom

Burning every photo.

Blazing away every memory.

A chaotic hell that is yearning for only destruction.

I want to dismiss every thought i have about you

Because i know you're banishing my image in your head, too

All of a sudden, after therapy, i am at the seashore when i realize

I've been keeping the fire fed for a long, long, time

And i don't know what i have left in our abandoned kingdom, other than flames

There is no tranquility, until i escape, into my Cancerian world of water

Because your morals are as serious as laughter and this makes me angry, it sets me ablaze

Then moods swing for days.

Dangerous is a kingdom made of only passion

Which is what you’ve alchemized my love into, for i still don’t think i’ve fully forgave you

For lying to my face, you left bruises, and you broke things you could never replace.

I returned the lies, to trick your feelings

Yes, i betrayed you, but you made me cry

I left my first boyfriend because he bored me to insanity

Last time i left you it was because i had an abundance of opportunities

and i hoped we could make our love work despite the distance

For some little time, we prevailed

For this reason, I thought our love was so clever, but it was dumbed down by abuse and lies

Now when i cry, it is only because we will never see our kingdom the same

What it was like before doomsday

Before we watched Apocalypse Now, in a room all red,

and we realized how ghetto we really were, when you sprung from my bed, yelling at me with my text messages in your hands

I fight for those messages back but i break an acrylic nail

Fuckkk you

I'm sick of this love making me feel like a failure

Then you mourned in the corner,

I couldn’t see any life in your eyes, for months now

When you found out about another man’s body between my thighs

When i made you cum that morning you almost cried

Yes, i betrayed you,

But when you left me helpless, something in my soul provoked sobbing that was never-ending, and restless.

I never changed back to who i was, after you left bruises on my neck and broke that jar full of ocean water

Certo i still loved you after the putrid water poured down the walls

Certo i still fucked you after it left glass shards scattered on the floor

But we went from te voglio bene and amare to only lust and lies.

You loved me like a friend and a lover

Now i am just lust and desire, because friends are not liars or fighters

And we cannot restore the all the buildings which are now ashes, until we have years to dedicate to tending the gashes

And when you ignore me

I see all the flaws, in me, in you, in us

I feel this cause is without hope,

When you ignore me these days I can't help but laugh at the kingdom,

And think of this relationship

What a joke in rulership.