True Love?

What is love? To me, it's just another four letter word. Liar. I still can't believe to this day I put all my trust into you, cheater. I seen the signs but, I ignored them naïve, but that's just me. When things get a little rocky I have a tenancy to kind of, hide the pain. Put all of my emotions in one and, store them away. My heart is slowly fading away. See, I've taken it out too many times and just... here, gave it away. Not thinking that my actions later on down the road in my life would be, a price to pay. But I guess that's just the price you pay for playing with a short wick and, letting the candle burn any kind of way. The end result to your actions, is letting the wax overtake the flame. Now there is no light, only darkness remains. I constantly catch myself asking, "well who is the one to blame?" Was it my insecurities that drove you away? Or was it your act of lust which shattered my trust? You acted as if I were a game you had to play. I've tried to throw you away but, it seems the pain had stayed and, stained the very core of my soul. Why is it I'm unable to let you go? So many tears tasted, sleepless nights with my pen gripped tight reciting these broken quotes to the ceiling in detest! I can still feel your words almost as if they were tattooed right on to my chest, and right through my chest is where you put it, the blade. In which I sharpened! Oh the shame that comes from feeling this way, I've drowned myself in my own thoughts and the only way to stay afloat is through this page. My muscles strain, I'm physically, emotionally and, mentally strained. I wish I could wrap this up and, give it away. I'd give it to you. So you can know and, understand these feelings too, but two wrongs don't make a right. Just because you hurt me, I don't want to hurt you too. That right there is the difference between you and I. I would have done anything under the sun to give you the stars and moon. You did everything you could to drive me away from you. What hurts the most, is how you can say that you love me but, at the same time hate me too. I remember what you said, your words I'll quote. "I'm so happy we are together and, what we're going through is hard but, it will only make is stronger in the end. Just remember I'm yours, forever and always, I love you baby." Well, if we were happy I must have missed the smiles and, if what we were going through was hard I guess it was just that easy for you to find an escape in the end and, obviously forever and always doesn't really mean always and forever I guess those were just words that you choose for the moment to make the emotions bend. I just wish I could have seen past that crooked smile and, them lust filed eyes, that twisted tongue of yours that spilled nothing but lies. I guess I could thank you, because it was your betrayal that lit a fire deep inside. I can now put the weight of my emotions on my pen and, let my ink do the crying. I'm done bleeding tears over you. You're not worth the amount of muscles it takes to form a tear to fall down my face, I'm throwing you away. There is just no place in my heart for you to stay anymore. The wounds are healed yet but my love seems sealed. The scars are gone though my trust is lost. Like any disaster there is relief. It's time to rebuild, to reach deep within myself to let go what once used to be a part of me, you.