To my Orson:

To my Orson:

There are so many things I wish to say

And you know why it pains me so not to

Boarding that train was like stepping on shattered glass

Time will tell if it was the right path

To see you hurting, my strong bear, is agonizing

And I know I can't do anything to ease your suffering

Please, know that if your love could have kept me...

Darling, I'd forever be by your side

You know it was not your lips that sent me

You know that I'll always want more

But you have to stop waiting for me

to soon be walking back through that door

Drink a tea for me, I beg of you

Plant a flower in my cup

so that you have something living to take care of

And for God's sake, or at least for my own,

eat some fresh bread and toss the other

You need your strength, my lover

If I were to lose you completely

My life would end just the same

I'm certain there's a reason for this

I'm certain there is purpose for this pain

I'm certain now, I left part of my heart behind

I've been soul-searching and my soul is with yours

I've been lost but it was you I needed to find...

I want to do something I will regret

I want to change my mind

You know I can't do that

You know all that is intertwined

When the stars are bold and bright,

I close my weary eyes and pray for you

When they are dim, I pray even harder

I pray you are safe and more than anything

I pray you are one day happy again

You were happy before me, love

You were a man who danced and sang

I remember, that's how I met you

If I could have married you, I would be the happiest woman alive

Orson, you gave me more than you will ever know

Even if I couldn't give my hand,

I hope I gave you enough to understand

I will always love you no matter the distance

No matter the ocean between us

No matter the weather or the waves or the war

And if you forget what you are fighting for,

you always have me

With love and sorrow,

Iris