for Iris, with love

For Iris, with love:

The overcast skies are your tearful eyes

Misty as the ocean tide

But when the sun is out, I hide away

I can't bear to see it rise without your face

Without your skin touching mine

Without your sleepy little yawn

I miss you when the days are long

And when the nights are short I dream alone

I dream of a world where you are mine

Or a time before I knew your smile

Then I wake, and the pain reminds me

Watching your train leave my side...

was like a firey sword in my side

I know there were no words I could say

strong enough to pull you my way

Dear, Iris, I pray for your happiness

Despite it all, I pray you find your bliss

It kills me that it wasn't my kiss

It kills me my lips couldn't save you with words

and making love to you wasn't enough

To taste you again...

Even just to hold your goddamn hand...

Oh, Iris, Please come home

There's no home here without you

I feel so beside myself

An empty shelf where your books used to be

I have two teacups,

and I want to never drink tea again

It reminds me too much of you

the way you used to stir four times clockwise

My face, I barely recognize

I have a loaf of bread you bought

just sitting in the cupboard to rot

Tell me why it feels good to watch

Maybe I feel less alone watching something die with me

Even with this pain in my chest,

I really do wish you the best

I just wish more that the best was me

Anyway, I'm thinking of tossing the bread

I don't want to be a miserable man

I want to be a man that deserves you

A man that has his own books

Bakes his own bread

Always waiting,

A miserable man with two tea cups