To My Little Boo

My little boo

Where are you

Are you up above looking down

When we try to smile but want only to frown

Are you here in the breeze

That caresses me like a lover’s tease

Is that your voice I hear crying in the night

When a strange noise causes a fright

Were you there when we held hands and prayed

Over the crib wherein you would have laid

When I see the toys you should have played with

I wonder if the soul is but a myth

But my heart knows you are somewhere

Watching us wander here and there

You are in the faces of the children on the playground

You are the whippoorwill who makes a sorrowful sound

Your heartbeat is in the soughing waves

Your smile is the suns early morning rays

The softly delicate moonlight

Reminds me to maintain the fight

I can feel your tiny fingers

When a little tickle on my skin lingers

When I close my eyes

I can hear your sighs

You hold my hand when I cross the street

Scampering across on tiny feet

You giggle in my ear when the cat swats my leg

You urge compassion when homeless beg

Your tiny fingers swipe away my tears

Stroking my cheek, alleviating my fears

You are my conscience, my guiding star

Warning me when time to leave the bar

Guiding my hand upon the wheel

Keeping us safe while with reality we deal

Our friends say we’ll recover from the blow

Of losing the child we didn’t even know

They didn’t feel your presence stirring inside

Nestled in supposed safety, waiting for with us to abide

They didn’t look on in wonder during the ultrasound

As your little body grew ounce by pound

As your heartbeat went lub, dub, dub

They didn’t feel my wonder when her belly I’d rub

When I ‘d feel your tiny legs kick

When I held her hair in the mornings when she was sick

They didn’t pore over baby books searching names

They weren’t there during our night games

As we pondered possible futures for our beloved child

As we wondered if you would be meek or wild

We loved you from the moment we knew you were to exist

We love you still though in grief we subsist

We will move forward, perhaps try again

No shame, no blame, miscarriage is not a sin

But even should we have a baby at a later date

We will still love you and mourn your fate

So please, be happy and don’t cry for she and I

Just watch over us from the playpen in the sky

All my love …

Dad

We love you despite never getting to hold you