Thoughts from Yesterday

My mind was heavy with many thoughts yesterday

I love the moments I get to spend with you, no matter what we end up doing

Taking a drive, spending time with your family, or just staying in bed together

I'm happily content as long as I'm with you

But one thing you said, sent my mind to a million places

How do you truly see me?

Who am I to you?

Who do you want me to be to you?

Do you still just see me as the girl I was when we first met 8 years ago?

Young, dumb, gullible, and falls in love easily.

Am I really just a friend to you?

One of the few people you trust, can rely on, and talk to about anything.

Friend turned lover?

I see the way you look at me sometimes, the way you touch me, and especially when you kiss me... when I know how you feel about the intimacy of kissing.

Do I mean more to you than you'll ever actually admit to me?

I know what it feels like when we're alone, but to hear you refer to me as just a friend or a "homie" to people really makes me feel conflicted.

It makes me question what I'm doing, why I come around, why I do everything that I do, why I feel the way I do, when it might just be one sided.

I know you tell me not to overthink things, I promise I really try not to.

But my heart tells me I need to brace myself, in case you decide again that you no longer want me...