These Words Erase Me

. . .

Author’s Note: The following is the 17th poem in my self-challenge to write a poem a day. It is a free verse poem — a touch scatterbrained, but deeply personal and relatable for many writers, I believe. Thank you for reading and wish me luck to keep the pace ❤

. . .

I hold these words inside until they burst their way out of me.

They slither this way and that, burrowing through me, and I

wonder how much longer they will erode my insides before

they have had their fill of my soul.

I do not wonder what parts of me they kill as they search, though.

I feel those parts of me dying as they go. I feel the loss as I feel

a wound external. Every word I hold in kills another small piece

of me until the burning is so great that even they seek relief.

They push themselves out of me and leave a trail of fire and acid

as they erupt onto the paper. Another hole burned through.

Another chunk of my soul — gone.

Still, I keep holding them in.

Still, I fight the battle that I know I will not win.

I hold these words inside.

Though I know they will eventually burst their way out of me.

I feel them as they slither — this way and that way.

They burrow their way through my insides, and I feel them.

I wonder how long I will be able to hold them inside.

I wonder how much of myself I will let them erode before I can

no longer restrain them.

But I do not have to wonder what parts of me die with their passing.

I feel the pieces of myself dying with each new word I hold inside.

And as they escape, a new part of who I once was is erased.

They erase me. These words I dare not speak. But I cannot erase them.

For no matter how hard I try, they will see the light of day.

No matter how much I resist, they will feel the air once more.

I hold these words inside.

But I know — they will escape.

And I know — they erase me as they do.

. . .

© Lena Borondia 2022, all rights reserved

Previously published on Medium

. . .

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Author's Note: Thank you for honoring me with a read. If you've enjoyed what you've read, please click on the 🖤 and explore my other work. All reads, likes, tips, and pledges feed my writer's soul and give me the fuel to keep sitting down at my computer to bleed out words.

Xx - Lena