Her heart beats in time to the rushing of her breath,
Fear courses through her veins, boiling her blood,
Her eyes widen at the impossibility laid before her,
And her tears are threatening to overflow and flood.
**
Her mind chants; “No, no, no, absolutely not!”
Her heart beats even harder; it’s all she can hear,
Her equilibrium swoons, she’s sure she’s going to faint,
And the emotions rumble, especially her fear.
**
She knows she definitely cannot find the courage,
This is going to be a first, one where she admits defeat,
Her mind convinced she is a coward, there’s no doubt,
As it torments her, the resounding no’s on repeat.
**
This must be a joke, surely,
The task an impossibility of major proportions,
Surely they’re just pulling her leg,
The view before her full of horrific distortion.
**
She stands still, quivering in her boots,
Knowing, adamant; she cannot do this,
She has found her limit, or so it seems,
For here, she is too scared to take the risk.
**
Then she breathes deeply and chides her mind,
She’s no quitter and will not start now,
She’ll beat her demons into submission, or die trying,
She’ll not allow them to beat her brow.
**
She climbs upon her fear and rides it hard,
Holding tight until it realises she holds the reins,
She puts her best foot forward and tackles the beast,
Disregarding all her doubts and her persistent pains.
**
And when she succeeded, she felt ten foot tall,
Knowing she beat back the terror and fought well,
Conquered her inner weakness and toughened her will,
Breaking her demons hold, shattering their spell.
This piece was written when I had to face my inner demons this weekend and complete a four wheel drive course that I believed was impossible. The fear I felt and eventually conquered was absolutely terrifying. So much so, that I was so close to admitting defeat……….which for anyone who knows me, knows that just does not happen.
I’m thankful I beat my fear once more!
Here was the cause of my struggle. The photo doesn’t do this hill I climbed in my new car justice because it’s a lot more rugged and steeper than it looks here. It was on such a pitch that I could not see the ground over the top of my bonnet.
I’m pleased to say not only did I conquer this hill, but I also drove down it again and then repeated the drive back up.
I learnt so much about me, my car and my demons!
The main photo at the top, was when I tackled the soft sand on the beach and deliberately bogged my car — well how else do you learn how to get out again?
Please click the link below my name to read more of my work. I would also like to thank you for taking the time to read this today and for all your support.
If you enjoy this piece, you may enjoy this one too.
Please visit my website if you'd like more information on my newly published book, Battle Angel : The Ultimate She Warrior.
Originally published on Medium
About the Creator
Colleen Millsteed
My first love is poetry — it’s like a desperate need to write, to free up space in my mind, to escape the constant noise in my head. Most of the time the poems write themselves — I’m just the conduit holding the metaphorical pen.
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Comments (2)
Feel the fear and do it anyway! So glad you didn't give up my friend! I can only imagine how terrifying it would have been!
That could have been written from many perspectives! Glad you were able to overcome one of those demons without getting hurt! I was thinking maybe it was about childbirth! Excellent job!