The Talking Tree

I know a story, a life altering kind;

A date of the ages, just relax and unwind.

I will tell you about a meeting of chance,

That blossomed into the strangest romance.

Now you may think, “This is going to be grand!

A date so sweet and properly bland”.

But this small story will not bring glee,

Though it began with merlot and a talking tree.

Now Johnny Boy was an awkward sort,

He’d drink too much to properly court;

But love did strike one fateful day,

It was a crisp morning late in May.

Evelyn Girl was young and spry,

She could drink an ale well dry.

She loved wine, rum, and rye;

If it could be drunk she wanted a try.

Now that wasn’t all Evelyn liked to do.

She enjoyed something a little stronger than brew.

A type of fungi that if was dried,

Could spruce up a drink if rightly applied.

Evelyn went walking one crisp May morning,

Her day was already beginning to be boring.

So she cracked in to her fungi and wine,

And sprinkled some in and cheers’d down her spine.

Just up the road where Johnny Boy sat

In a tree so tall he sat like a bat.

Evelyn strolled up right under the tree

And hid behind so she could pee.

Johnny called down so Evelyn would know

That she was about to put on a show.

Evelyn jumped back, she gave quite a start

Looking around with a skip in her heart.

There was no source where the voice had come,

So Evelyn assumed the tree it was from.

She looked incredulously at that broad trunk

And saw a mossy face, in the bark it was sunk.

“Oh hello! A tree that talks!

And one that warns instead of mocks!

I very much would not want you to see,

So I will find somewhere else to pee!”

Johnny laughed out in a deep rumbled roar,

And here he thought today was a bore.

But then there was Evelyn, the prettiest lass,

Talking to a tree; about to pee on the grass.

Johnny climbed down from his high branchy seat,

This was the girl he needed to meet.

He took a swig from the flask in his hand,

To give him the guts he needed to land.

Johnny jumped down from a much lesser height

And peeking around at the funniest sight;

Evelyn Girl with so much glee,

Still chatting away with that ‘talking’ tree.

Johnny walked out but tried not to scare,

Evelyn looked up in his eyes she did stare;

Then she turned, to her book bag she went

And pulled out two glasses, as if this were meant.

Evelyn poured each a full brimming glass,

And then, sat down, and patted the grass.

Johnny did follow and sat right beside

And in silence they drank, it was an odd sight.

Then Johnny looked over at the tree he had climbed,

And wouldn’t you know it! It grinned and then rhymed.

It said, “Look at you! An odd awkward boy,

Who has met an odd match, a gal who is coy?

Now don’t screw this up, she is quite a sight!

But even more, she has a great might.

She may not be very easy to please,

But Evelyn Girl deserves more than a tease.

Perhaps you’ll be happy, perhaps she will too.

You two are quite perfect; she’s morning, you’re dew.

I know you have now started falling in love,

From the moment you saw her from my branch up above.”

Evelyn looked over and said, “You heard too!

He told me I’d meet someone who is true,

And then I looked up and you entered my life;

Maybe one day you’ll make me your wife.”

Now that coy gal was Johnny’s soul mate

And meeting her was definitely fate;

And in the spark of that afternoon trance,

A romance emerged from that date made by chance.

Johnny and Evelyn were inseparable then;

She was the ink, and he was the pen.

They fell deep in love like two lovers do,

And each every day their bond grew and grew.

About a year later, it was April twenty,

They lit up some grass of which they had plenty;

And in celebration of this wonderful day,

They cheers’d to the best year on the way.

Then Evelyn looked down and saw something shine,

There at the bottom of her glass full of wine.

Then Johnny kissed her, getting down on one knee,

Asked Evelyn Girl, “Will you marry me?”

Then he pulled out a memorable plant

And sprinkled some into the glass in her hand.

The two sat cuddling in silence again,

Knowing their future would be ten out of ten.

Evelyn’s name changed from Girl to Boy,

But she was still so very coy;

That was what Johnny loved the most,

Of that he did say in his grooms wedding toast.

One dew-less morning they went for a cruise,

“Just down from their house”, you’ll read in the news.

There was a large truck who did lose control,

And straight into Evelyn and Johnny did roll.

Down an embankment their little car went,

And straight up to heaven Evelyn was sent.

She peeked down below from her cloud up above,

And gave her last breath to the man she did love.

It was touch and go for Johnny Boy then,

And he awoke a dry empty pen.

He could not see his heart ever mending;

Sometimes in life, there is no sweet ending.

I told you this story would not make you happy.

I told you it was more strange than sappy.

Of love and fate, sometimes both are the same;

And occasionally in tragedy there is no one to blame.

Now thinking back to that crisp May morning,

On a day Johnny thought would be boring;

He met the love of his life and to bring Johnny glee,

Is a memory of merlot and a talking tree.