The heart flutters with a staccato of random missed beats,
As I gaze upon a new dawn rising in the distance,
Warmth surrenders the blood that rushes through my veins,
At the thought of offering any further resistance.
What excited me yesterday now has my stomach in knots,
As I ride this roller coaster ride of paradoxical feeling,
The future drilling down on me from far and wide,
Now has the fear choking me, my breath haphazardly reeling.
Can I ride the waves of doubt and still the silence?
Especially knowing that I’ll be forever alone,
Age disintegration a feeling of pain and awe,
Aware I’m close to the end, nearing the finish zone.
How will I leave the comfort of the last of us?
Understanding the tears that will signal the end,
My heart feels the shattered future in advance,
Stifling my courage, be it a heartbreaking suspend.
I feel the terror of my plans rush me in waves,
As dark storm clouds descend over my head,
The stark feelings riding in waves of despair,
Insisting I keep the status quo instead.
Don’t rock the boat, that tiny voice repeats,
But happiness is not here, I’m well aware of the stance,
Somewhere on the horizon is my new destiny,
Begging me to take a risk, give the future a chance.
Caught in the moment of yesterday,
No time to be fraught with the worry in decline,
My future is calling, screaming to me from the distance,
So I’ll feel the fear and make that savvy bitch mine.
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Originally published on Medium
About the Creator
My first love is poetry — it’s like a desperate need to write, to free up space in my mind, to escape the constant noise in my head. Most of the time the poems write themselves — I’m just the conduit holding the metaphorical pen.