Loop

Her eyes crept slowly open, registering the brilliance of the sunlight without really processing what it meant. Rolling over, her hand crept towards the nightstand while her brain was trapped between wanting to get up and wanting to fall back asleep.

It pulled at her, that blissful oblivion. Waiting just there, just where her head’s imprint still stood out on the pillow, was potential. That’s how she liked to think of dreams, as limitless potential just waiting for it’s chance to be released. Good and bad, sexy and scary, funny and sad, they were all waiting, just there.

Fingers curled slowly around the phone that lay on the nightstand. They were her fingers, of that she was reasonably sure, so she could just command them to stop, right? Choose not to be an adult, just for today? The screen turned slowly, tearing her hopes for a lie in away like a hook and bait from the hands of a novice fisherman.

She did not remember reading what was on the screen, still trying to ignore the fact that she had no choice but to get up and get going, but she knew the time. Despite the fact that she had awoken before the alarm shrilled, it only cost her a bare few minutes of shut eye. Sighing heavily, she heaved herself out of bed, cancelled the alarm and stumbled to the kitchen.

Pressing the magic coffee button, she mulled over what she had to do that day. Files needed approvals, new tasks needed assigning, and didn’t she have a meeting with the ADMO that day? Hmm… so much to do, and here she was just standing around and waiting for the coffee. Glancing in the empty mirror, over her kitchen sink, she wondered about its placement. Had she reorganized the apartment recently? What was it doing there?

But the questions faded from her mind the second they were asked. They weren’t important after all, she could worry about furniture later. In fact, could she remember the mirror being anywhere else? Just around its edges, she could see the sun as it crept into the green sky.

Green?

Looking back, she reconfirmed that the sky was its normal hue. And the sun was cresting the northern horizon, exactly where it normally does. The rays of the rising sun bathed the world beneath her window, barely visible if she tilted her head around the edges of the mirror, casting them in bronze while the birds still fluttered and swooped down from far above her own apartment.

Really, one would think that she would have a firmer grasp on the world around her. She had lived in that place for how long now? It didn’t really matter, aside from the never-ending construction across the street, nothing about her panorama had changed. Out of habit, she glanced down to watch the worker bees do… whatever it is they did down there with concrete and huge yellow machines.

Sounds drifted up to her, barely audible through the mirror window, but it was yet a foggy morning far down below. None of the high-vis vests could be seen, nor yet any of the huge machines. It was as though she hovered above a sea of fog, and the world beneath that sea was beyond knowing. A hostile, foreign place of –

The coffee machine beeped merrily at her, tearing her thoughts away from the window. Goodness, if she was going to be that distracted today, then the coffee really couldn’t get into her blood stream fast enough. Not to mention the confusion with the colours earlier.

Pouring the purple liquid into her favourite steaming brown mug, she took a sip, wondering about her confusion. The night before had not included any hits from her THC pen, had it? That was the only reason she could think of for how unnatural she felt. A few hits too many from the green goddess too late in the evening, which lead her to her present predicament.

“First day with the new brain,” she said to herself, taking up a spoonful of milk and getting the sugar out of the fridge. “Honestly, you’d think that you were a stranger to the other half of your thinking.”

She replaced everything and transferred her drink to a travel mug before slinging her work bag over her shoulder.

Reaching out, she gripped the door handle and pushed through into her office. Just over the threshold she froze, staring in abject confusion at the room before her. She threw a glance over her shoulder, looking back down the corridor to where the security guard sat, idly flipping through the green leaves of a book. When had she arrived? What time was it?

Dredging the corners of her memory, she tried and failed to understand what was happening to her. On the one hand, it was normal, natural, nothing to even take notice of. On the other, things kept not making sense. Time was fluid, stretching and condensing, bringing her from place to place. Maybe she was sick? The last time she’d had the flu, she had half-convinced herself that she was still a child, hadn’t she? Maybe this was the same?

But she could remember the journey. The long, long walk from her apartment to the escalators. Down the twenty-odd stories as people stepped on and off ahead of her. The sudden burst of rain out of the clear sky which confused her, though these things sometimes happen in Calgary without any apparent explanation. Then the bus and the train, followed by the… well, followed by entering the office, really.

With a shake of her head, she banished those thoughts and sat at her desk. Per usual, she was the only one in the office, which was grand given that it meant she could power through some work before anyone else got in. Two tries later, the letters on the keyboard as she typed in her password floating around and refusing to be caught, she was logged in and reading a list of emails that never got any shorter.

“Morning,” said a chipper voice from the door.

Looking up, she smiled to see Alastor leaning in the doorway. He sported a two day growth of stubble, and a half-buttoned silk shirt. Hair artfully tossed, it looked like he was only a few minutes out of bed, and he was smiling directly at her. Taking one hand out of his pocket, he ran the fingers through his beautiful dark hair and –

-0-

“Morning,” the word cut itself off in a jaw-cracking yawn.

Bewildered, she looked around. Her bed, sheets disturbed so little that she knew it had been the dead-man type of sleep.

Sleep?

Glancing at her phone, in nightstand mode and showing the time, she groaned. Pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes, she watched as best she could as the dream slowly faded from memory. It was Tuesday, an in-office day, and damnit hadn’t she already done this?

She hated those kind of dreams. “Nightmares are far better,” she muttered, levering herself out of bed and stumbling into the bathroom. “Don’t make me do things like this over again.”

It was the weighted blanket, she knew that. It always gave her the strangest dreams. But they also had her waking up feeling the most rested, on every day except this one, it seemed. Give and take, good and bad, the only thing in her life that was perfect was coffee. Everything else had its ups and downs. And if she had to be an adult today anyway, might as well get started.

Maybe she’d even work up the courage to initiate conversation with Alastor today. They’d worked together for a while, and he certainly paid more attention to her than anyone else. Yes she could –

-0-

The alarm blared, and she turned it off without really noticing what she was doing.

“Argh!,” she groaned, heaving the weighted blanket off her. “I hate when that happens!”

From beside her, Alastor - they’d been together for years – asked sleepily, “The mundane one again?”

“If it makes you feel any better,” she said, hands over her eyes, “you looked really sexy this time.”

He rolled over, molding himself to her figure, voice still husky from sleep as he said, “did we do anything fun this time?”

“No,” she sighed dramatically, enjoying his warmth against her and the weight of his arm across her chest. “Got jammed by one of those wake up from a dream into a different dream deals.”

“Ouch.”

“Right? Ok, move over, I have to get up.”

“Babe.”

“Yes?”

“It’s Sunday.”

“Oh,” a hint of mischief entered her voice. “Well then, why don’t we see what my dream self was missing out on?”

His hand moved, sending a sudden wave of fire through her body. “I might be able to help with that,” he said, tracing along the curve where neck met shoulder with his lips. “But be warned, nothing's happening fast today.”

“I can live with that,” her eyes closed again as he kept going with his slow action. All told, not a bad morning after all.