The Recovering Agoraphobic
Or, I climbed my mountain today.
You came at me, little man, with your two-inch knife.
You thought you would steal my purse.
You thought you would end the night in profit,
Taken, stolen, from a "helpless" woman.
*
You didn’t know a man could hear me scream,
You didn’t know he would come running,
You didn’t know they would take me in
Look after me.
*
I wish I could say the police were called,
Descriptions taken, crime numbers produced,
Police out searching for the little man with the little knife.
Sadly, a different person took over my body,
*
A fifteen-year-old girl with an attitude problem and a slutty mouth.
Good old dissociative identity disorder.
As far as I know, no action was taken.
No action taken by the police (were they even called?)
*
But plenty of action in my brain
Safety, it needed safety.
I would stand at the door shaking and crying.
I couldn’t walk further than the top step.
*
I was told to try to acclimatise myself slowly.
But it didn’t work. Until
Angela, the clinical psychologist -
she began to work her magic.
*
You attacked in 2018, the little man with the little knife.
I spent a lot of years inside.
But Angela worked with me,
Angela the angel? She wouldn’t like that.
*
But Angela and I talked and talked,
Reframed. Read. Thought.
And today, my friend, I got in my car.
I did something incredible. I faced my mountain.
*
I went to a supermarket by myself.
*
Alone and afraid, quivering belly,
Alone and anxious, tight throat,
Alone and brave, maybe a touch of swagger
Alone and accomplished, I did it by myself.
About the Creator
Ruth Stewart
I'm a grandmother of four amazing grandchildren and a mum of three fabulous children. I write poetry mainly, also prose and the odd story. I live in Scotland, UK. For a secret link to watch me read my favourite poems click right here!
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Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Excellent storytelling
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Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
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Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
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Comments (41)
Emotive... I did something incredible. I faced my mountain. Great achievement.
Amazing achievement, this is flushed with strength.
I’m having a reading day on vocal and so grateful to find creators like yourself. (and maybe you especially as a fellow Scot! 😇✨❤️). This is very well written and powerful, thank you for sharing
I love the way you've used rhythm to kind of evoke the jumbled feeling that fear gives your thoughts. This is really immersive. Also, glad you're recovering from this experience (and thankful to you for sharing it)
This poem is excellent at conveying the fear and the pain that came with this experience, and I'm glad you're recovering. Congratulations on Top Story!
Congrats on the TS and for the bravery and strength that brought you to this point! Well done!
I have no idea why I haven't commented on this before. It must have been "one of those days" when I first read it and I apologize for the oversight. Congratulations on the well deserved Top Story!
Such a well-crafted and moving piece of writing! Congratulations for the recognition that needed to happen here.
nice and brave.. =)
Congratulations on facing your fear, writing a fantastic poem about it, and earning top story! 👏
Such a raw and heartfelt piece, emotions spilled onto the screen. This took so much courage to share and is such an inspiration to those of use with demons to purge. Amazing. Congratulations on Top Story :)
You are braver than the ones who climb mountains for clout and likes. Thank you for writing this piece and giving hope to people who read your work.
A whole world of struggles spoken of in one incident, Our world presents such challenges. So happy you were able to brave the ocean and dive back in. Welcome to the world of our knowing you. Blessings and congrats.
This really moved me, having struggled with panic attacks and agoraphobia myself and overcame it. I understand what it takes to force yourself out that door, and no one in the world can tell me it isn't a bigger accomplishment than a sky dive! You're so, so brave. Thank you for sharing this.
Congratulations on your accomplishment, Ruth, of which this outstanding and brave poem is but the smallest part. More of us have been there than we like to admit. And no matter what Angela might say, she sounds pretty well-named to me!
A great, heartfelt poem Ruth. 😊
I love this story of empowerment 🥰
Love this, I know too well this feeling.
Congratulations! 🎉
Great read!
Oh wow! This is incredible. Your voice shines! I thoroughly enjoyed the gradual delve into the agoraphobia, the way you walked us into the headspace and the dissociation and the psychologist. What a unique piece! Well done and congratulations on top story! It absolutely deserves it. 💜
Way to go and overcoming so many thoughts and feelings. Congratulations for sharing. Writing will let us do anything we can to make us better in all ways.
What a triumph. Thank you for sharing something so intimate and uplifting, a piece of art that so greatly depicts the resilient beauty of the human spirit. You're incredible.
Truly awesome & inspiring. Thank you for sharing this. 🤗
Congratulations on your Top Story❤️❗