The Parasitic Narcissist

If my heart were a blossom

There’d be nothing left to see.

The petals slowly withered away,

Floating off into the breeze.

I fear there’s nothing left inside of me,

Just a hollow shell in the wake of your insanity.

.

You’re like a parasite inside my heart

I never realized,

You’ve been infecting me from the very start.

The truth hidden from my eyes.

Drew me in with your charm,

I handed you my heart.

Never dreamed you’d inflict such harm,

Nor deceive me with countless lies.

.

We clicked so well.

I felt proud to be on your arm.

You looked at me with such love,

I felt no reason to doubt

You were all that you’d claimed.

.

Seemed you were sent from above.

All that we needed.

Then not before long, my trust in you receded.

I held on so tight.

Fought to hold on…

But at the end of it all

I realized I was grasping empty-handed

Only air upon my palms.

.

Was it ever really real?

All those days,

All those nights?

Did I only ever imagine you there?

.

We created life together,

Yet you’re no longer here.

These babies we made?

They’re all that I hold dear.

Whereas we’re just an inconvenience for you,

You’ve made that abundantly clear.

.

Sometimes I feel you were only an imagined love,

That notion at least would not cause me such fear.

Nor would it cause a torrent of tears.

As I’d rather have dreamed you into existence,

For our happy memories to be cherished fantasy

Rather than having loved someone for so long

Someone whose toxicity will ensure he’ll never belong.

.

You never cared about us at all.

I was dreaming of our future,

The pretty lies you wove with such ease.

Thought we were forever

Our little family now complete.

.

Instead, you’d always conveniently forget

About our family, your promises, or the pain such choices would surely beget.

Selfish need always the victor

No matter how often you claimed your regret.

Every sext message received/sent,

Every nude exchanged,

Each one an active choice to be sure.

A decision you made

In forgetting about us.

Your family, the cost of the trade.

.

I would gaze in such awe,

In wonder, to be sure,

At the beauty of the family we created,

How could you not see?

Instead, with the smallest of temptations,

You would always cave and betray me.

.

It didn’t matter how devoted I was

Or how much I ever gave.

It was never enough.

In the end, I guess there was really nothing there to save.

. . .

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This poem was originally published on Medium: