The Pain Remains

A father should be a girl's first love

Her very first protector and guardian

To show her what a true man is

Mine showed me heartbreak and pain

Before anyone else had the chance to

For years, made me believe I was not worthy of being loved

Not capable of being loved

Made me to believe that I was broken beyond repair

Physically, mentally, emotionally damaged

To be the first child and see him love the rest of his children

But feel that I had done something wrong to make my father not want anything to do with me

For him not to take any interest in what I love

Not caring what makes me happy

Leaving me to believe that I am nothing but a disappointment

Nothing I do is ever good enough

Being told to the face as a child that he didn't love me

Being ripped up by the hair

Forced to fight every day of my childhood

Until he finally decided to admit his unhappiness

And left our family for his new child and woman

Leaving behind broken hearts and bones

They would heal... eventually

But never the same again

Some wounds still needing to be mended

But I've accepted, some may never heal