The importance of 'being liked'

There is no use denying it — being liked is important. Making friends, succeeding at work, or just feeling good about yourself, having the approval and affection of the people around you can make all the difference.

But being likeable isn’t always easy, especially if you’re not naturally outgoing or charismatic.

There are simple behaviors and habits that one can adopt to increase the chances of being popular.

How do you mean?

Well, for starters, show a genuine interest in the people around you. Ask them questions about their lives, their hobbies, and their opinions, and really listen to their answers. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk or use their responses as a springboard for your own stories. Show that you value their perspectives and experiences, and that you’re not just talking to them to hear yourself speak.

That is a fair point, I am not really great at initiating conversations, I am more of a listening person. Why are you smiling?

Because I see you saying plenty all the time!

Actually, you see me writing plenty, it is totally not the same as talking.

Agreed! Being a good listener goes hand in hand with being genuinely interested in other people. When someone is talking to you, give them your full attention. Put away your phone, make eye contact, and don’t interrupt or finish their sentences for them. Show that you’re engaged and empathetic by nodding, asking follow-up questions, and reflecting back what you’ve heard. People like to feel heard and understood, and being a good listener is an easy way to make them feel valued.

Sometimes it is really hard to be authentic and honest. People can usually tell when someone is being fake or insincere, and it’s a major turn-off.

If you want to be liked, be authentic and honest in your interactions. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not or agree with opinions that don’t align with your values. Be true to yourself and your beliefs, even if it means respectfully disagreeing with people. People respect authenticity and honesty, and they’re more likely to like and trust you if you’re upfront about who you are.

I disagree with you 70% to 30%. Many people do not want to hear the truth. They will hold grudges and penalize or deny you what should rightfully be yours.

This can work both ways too. Sometimes empathy and compassion are what is most needed in a situation. Maybe someone is going through a tough time or struggling with a problem, show that you care by offering your support and understanding. Don’t just offer platitudes or try to fix their problems for them, but listen with an open heart and validate their feelings. People appreciate when people show genuine concern for their well-being, and it can go a long way in building strong, positive relationships.

I see your point, but I still believe there is some truth in what I said.

And that is totally ok! You are completely entitled to your opinion

I always try to be helpful, reliable and dependable as best as I can. When I make a promise or commitment, I do my best to follow through on it.

I believe that is very important. Show up on time, do what you say you’re going to do, and don’t flake out at the last minute. People appreciate when they can count on people to be there for them, and being reliable is a key component of building strong, lasting relationships.

How about humility and graciousness?

Nobody likes a braggart or a know-it-all. Be humble and gracious. Don’t constantly talk about your own accomplishments or try to one-up everyone with your stories. Instead, celebrate the successes and achievements of those around you, and give credit where credit is due. When you receive a compliment or praise, accept it graciously and thank the person who gave it to you. People appreciate humility and graciousness, and it can go a long way in building positive relationships

Truthfully, that is a really hard one to practice. There is always that little devil imp on your shoulder ready to introduce you to the green-eyed-monster, or whispering that you deserve more of the slices of the pie.

Ha, ha, ha. That is true, but life is not always fair, and we take the good with the bad.

I know, I know...be positive and optimistic.

People are naturally drawn to those who have a positive, optimistic outlook on life. Try to maintain a cheerful, upbeat attitude, even in the face of challenges or setbacks. Don’t constantly complain or dwell on the negative, but instead focus on the good things in your life and the lives of those around you. Encourage people when they’re feeling down, and try to find the silver lining in difficult situations. People appreciate positivity and optimism, and it can be contagious in social situations.

So you are saying, be open-minded and non-judgmental.

One of the quickest ways to turn people off is to be closed-minded and judgmental. Try to keep an open mind and avoid making snap judgments about people based on their appearances, backgrounds, or beliefs. Be willing to listen to different perspectives and opinions, even if you don’t agree with them. Show respect for diversity and individuality, and don’t try to impose your own values or beliefs on anyone. People appreciate open-mindedness and tolerance, and it can help create a more inclusive, welcoming environment.

Generosity and helpfulness, I like the sound of that, but I reserve the right to be human, I will not always be on my best behavior. Nobody is that perfect.

I agree, no one is perfect. But don’t keep score or expect anything in return, but simply do it because it’s the right thing to do. People appreciate generosity and kindness, and it can help build strong, positive relationships.

I have a keen sense of humor and I try to not take myself too seriously, but sometimes I think that people just see me as a voice to make them happy, and miss the true person that I really am.

Having a good sense of humor is one of the most attractive and likeable qualities a person can have. If you want to be liked, be willing to laugh at yourself and the absurdities of life. Look for opportunities to make people laugh and smile, whether it’s through a witty comment or a funny story. Just be careful not to cross the line into mean-spirited or offensive humor, and always read the room to make sure your jokes are appropriate for the situation.

Yes, so true...I have come to realize that.

Being a good conversationalist is key to being liked and accepted. Work on your conversation skills by being an active listener, asking thoughtful questions, and sharing your own experiences and opinions in a clear, engaging way.

That is such sage advice. I try my best to do that, even if only a few persons will actually listen.

Also, avoid dominating the conversation or interrupting people, and try to find common ground and shared interests with the people you’re talking to. Good conversation skills can help you build rapport and connection and make you a more likeable and interesting person to be around.

Still, sometimes I just want everyone to go away and just be silent!

Believe me, that too is ok. But remember, respect and good manners go a long way in social, or professional setting. Always treat people with respect and courtesy, regardless of their age, status, or background. Use your manners, say please and thank you, and avoid rude or offensive behavior. Show appreciation for people’s time and efforts, and don’t take them for granted. It can help create a more positive, harmonious environment.

Harmony and peace sound divine. It is needed in abundance these days.

It’s important to be consistent and loyal. Don’t say one thing and do another or change your personality or values depending on who you’re with. Be true to yourself and your commitments and stand by your friends and loved ones through thick and thin.

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Some insights adapted from Listickle, and story by Jennifer Still