The Darker Side Of Poetry

I have been having the time of my life: working at a job I love, filming videos, helping people grow to do what they want to do, sharing stories and ideas with others, creating an environment for people to feel a part of a community, and writing to my heart's content and having an endless flow of creativity.

That does not mean I did not have moments within those days where I did not struggle, where it was not hard for me to keep going, where I did not struggle with my mental and physical health.

I have come to see that life has an equal balance of good and bad.

So why not writing?

I have long since learnt that there needs to be a balance in that as well. Even in a land of make believe no one is going to have a perfect life. It is not about the entertainment factor more than the realism.

We want to see ourselves in characters and if they are all perfect than they are not likable to us. There is no version where someone is perfect (other than in the Bible). Maybe that is why a vast majority find it so hard to believe.

There is always a flaw, a mediator, a fault.

If writing is able to capture the mind and heart of a reader the conflict needs to be at the centerfold and one that the reader can get behind and value. It is practically a requirement in writing courses and workshops. It is one of the first things that is taught in ever English class in story arc.

Heaven sake's the entire chart is depicted as a half circle and the climax is labeled conflict. It is what everything leads up to and where interest wains after. We are never satisfied until there is a good conflict.

Many critics will even give a book a pass if there is a good conflict and mediocre ending whereas they are harsher on a book with barely any build up to the main conflict and a good ending.

It is the most anticipated.

So why am I saying all of this?

Sad poetry, even dark poetry is a way of life that can shed some light on the darkness that could sometimes be felt even in the most perfect times in life. I know there are many that want to escape the world by way of myth of futuristic fantasies or passionate romances that sweep you away to ecstasy page after page after page.

But that is not all audiences.

That is only part of what writing can do. It is not stilted. It is not emotionless. It is not all sad or all depressing. It could seem that way, but even in it's darkest depths there is a hope.

Hope.

Not something you would associate with that medium. Yet, people find it time and time again. Readers get absorbed into a world where for once they are not escaping reality, but facing it head on.

The audience is able to find a confidant. The author is able to communicate the innermost thoughts and feelings to have a sort of closure and healing. A way to move on. Together audience and creator both come to an understanding of each other and a deeper appreciation and respect for the amount of strength and courage that it was to write and live through the words that seem so hard to articulate.

Words said aloud and the fear of rejection is palpable in the world of communication with another human being. In the wake of literature it is a type of healing. In this moment you have found an emotion beyond words and a comfort that words just seem too harsh for.

In this moment, you are seen.

Your vulnerability is laid bare in a work of art and even in the midst of the words you see a beauty underneath it all. More importantly you feel seen in a way that is tragically beautiful.

It is a connection of yourself to a piece that can show your worth if even for a moment. You are so much more than what this world has given you and you are so much more than your struggle can take down.

You are strong. You are courageous. You are seen.

I have been known to look beyond the importance of sad/dark poetry growing up because I thought it was some sort of sick fascination with the struggles and torment that life can bring. That it was a call that life was hopeless, has no meaning.

I was so wrong!

I allowed my mind to be consumed from a young age with the fascination to escape. It was a mindset that I did not pinpoint til years later and when I did I was not ashamed that it was put into practice. After all, what could be wrong with wanting to read a book?

I would be the first to admit that reading was a form of escapism. To create a world where I did not exist and instead stood this character who was confident, strong, independent, and everything I could ever want to be. Only to be crushed shortly thereafter when I was forced to come back to the cesspool of reality.

More than likely with even more hopelessness than what I started with.

Writing has saved my life more times than I care to count. It had given me a purpose to not only be heard but understood. To write for others rather than to them. My whole view on communication from audience to reader, even my relationships in general, changed within my last few years of teenagerhood (yes I am making that a word now).

You might think that is a rather obvious life lesson. I did as well. Then I learned how to put that lesson into practice with a short-lived deep dive into what the world of psychology would have been like. It was not that I was not interested. Far from. It was rather the whole sentiment with which I chose to approach life.

Another story for another time.

Long story short I learned that to really have the best form of communication it was to relay the message that you wanted to relay, but when the other person starts to speak and share their view do not allow yourself to think on your response to a certain point, do not interrupt, and hear what they have to say and do not categorize any part of what they say as something to just brush off and ignore.

With that came the appreciation of poetry. So much to the point that I took a poetry class, mostly hoping that of all the writing forms that would be the easiest homework load off of my shoulders (sorry to my professor if she ever reads this). To my greatest relief, that was not to be the case.

I became almost obsessive in my thirst for knowledge on this topic. Everything from styles, to formatting, to just plain writing and reading. I could not get past the darker side of poetry as at the time it spoke to me in ways that was honestly scary.

I thought that because I liked this type of prose. That because I was invested in the subjects and feeling these feelings that I was some sort of freak or someone who needed to be checked into some sort of mental facility. I want to make it very clear that this is not a stance I have now. I was naive at this point in my life and had been admittedly sheltered by the culture in which I grew up. This is just a past string of consciousness that led me to the woman I am today.

Slowly but surely I found that the more I saw these pieces and the way in which they were written, I realized that this was merely the outpouring of the heart. It was a way to share the innermost thoughts and emotions of the author while conveying a sense of inclusivity amongst the readers.

A way to connect.

A feeling that at that moment felt foreign to me at the time.

I felt abandoned in the leaving of my father. I felt there was no way in which I could speak to him about my feelings and get them all out in the open just for the sake of my mental health. It wasn't about forgiveness for him for that was already done.

It was now time to forgive myself. Let go of all the negativity and worthlessness I felt and move forward with the understanding that my life did not stop just because someone decided that they were going to stop being a part of it.

In those words I finally broke the dam of writing that I have held back for years. In a way, the world was not ready to hear the serious and the heartbroken in the way that they do now. There was a divide where struggle and pain were known but not out in the forefront.

That has all changed and with it our outlook on life and what we go through.

Darker works in general that are willing to weather the storm and take on the tough topics seem to be more appreciated with the times.

In general it will always be hard to talk about and it is not supposed to be pleasant. However, there is a basic knowledge that should be brought to the attention of the world so that the pain could lessen as people understand that it is ok to talk about, it is ok to need the time and the space to recuperate, and it is definitely ok to ask for help.

The one on one connection was always the biggest draw to me in writing. I have always been more of a fan to write something meaningful and personal to someone than the paycheck that comes with it. While not the best mindset in the sense that I want to make my talent a hobby, it is a good basis for the soul of what I write.

Writing has afforded me opportunities that nothing in this world could even come close to. Connecting in ways that I did not think was possible for someone like me.

I had always thought I was unable to be anything but socially awkward. While that is indeed the case, there is a new confidence in myself and a new knowledge of life.

No one has everything put together nor do they come off that way.

In life victories shape us as much as our struggles. It can be hard to admit to and it is disheartening to hear. At the same time it needs to be said. It is a means to reach out and encourage!

May that message always shine through. To anyone who wants to dip their toes or go full-in on dark/sad poetry, do it. It not only tests you creatively but it allows for you to feel a sense of relief and closure when done.

That is why I write the poetry that I do and if you want more insight into my journey feel free to check out my channel. All the money received from this platform by our generous readers and tippers (not mandatory) go directly into the channel and in the continuation of the publishing process.

You can also find me on Pinterest where I make boards that feature favorite Amazon products, book aesthetic boards, instagram collage pictures, and of course just a teenage girls random fandoms.