The Break-Up Conundrum

I hate you some much right now,

I am in shock and partial denial, I am so angry,

I want everything about you to stop,

Your face, your scent, your words, your actions,

Your heartbeat.

Your betrayal is too much for me to bear,

You have ask for forgiveness, you ask me to trust you again

I tried to forgive you, I tried to trust you

God’s knows I tried to trust and forgive you,

Part of me still loves you, but I am unable to forgive you,

Did you remember the promises you made to me? I trusted them

Then you broke them, now you want me to trust you again?

Bit by bit my love for you is being eaten away by bitterness,

By shame, by embarrassment, resentment, indignation,

By hatred...pure and utter hatred.

You simply said, ‘let’s go our own way’ as if our relation has not died in acrimony,

Even those careless words anger me more,

Impotent anger and frustration filled me,

Insecure questions filled my head;

Why did he do this? I thought he loved me? Why was I not enough?

How do you deal with a breakup? Did our relationship exit in a vacuum?

This relationship that has seen five summers; the days bright like the weather

Beautiful days filled with laughter and love,

This relationship has survived five winters; the arguments and shouting;

The heavy silences filled with hurt words said and unsaid.

But we survived it all, we survived many things. Until now,

We cannot survive this Vallum Hadriani you built with your infidelity.

‘Let’s go our own way’. I laugh at the simplicity of those words,

I am supposed to break up with you, fine! I’ll break up with you,

Did you forget the other relationships we built along the way?

But what about the others?

What reason do I have to break up with your parents?

What should I say to you brothers and sisters? To their children?

Our mutual friends?

They did nothing wrong and yet they will receive the same punishment as you.

How is this fair? You speak as if only the two of us were in this relationship,

Forgetting the others that helped built us up,

Before you tear us down.

We are finished, done, dusted. We have broken up,

Now let’s go and break up the lives and relationship of our love ones.