The 200 for #200

What dreams, what goals, what aspirations do I have for 2024 when it comes to writing? Well, to write. That's probably a given, I suppose, but a good goal nevertheless. In fact, the #200 Challenge has inspired me to come up with 200 things that I look forward to releasing into the world through the written typed word.

1. Write. I know I said it above, but if it's a goal then it should maybe be the first. Plus, if I didn't set it as a goal, everything listed underneath makes no sense whatsoever.

2. Make sense whatsoever.

3. Look up "whatsoever" in the dictionary.

4. Add my freelance Movie/TV articles and long form puns to my Vocal page. I write lots, and never remember to put them on here. Bad Lloyd, no soup for you.

5. Write serious, hard-hitting op-eds that lean far right, unless they lean far left, stirring the pot. Inoffensively stirring the pot. Or at least rippling the pot. Or leaving the placid pot be. Actually, scratch that. I'll be the Switzerland of op-eds.

6. There is no Rule number 6.

7. On a related note, continue to learn lessons from the sagacious minds of Monty Python. Anything that strays too far from that Eric Idle-ology shall not pass.

8. Stick to my strengths and write horror stories and comic pieces. Maybe even comic horror pieces. Not horror comic pieces though. That would be silly.

9. Submit at least one piece a week, two during National Vocal Submission Week, which hasn't been announced yet but pretty sure it's coming. It'll be bigger than Christmas, mark my words.

10. Grow my Vocal fan base beyond my mom. Who isn't really in my Vocal fan base, but I like to pretend that she is so I don't feel so lonely and abandoned.

11. Write in the dialect of today's generation by adding lit, jiggy pieces that are all up in your grill while doing the Nae Nae and bustin' rhymes to the def max, yo.

12. Ensure I tag both children in these pieces so that they wear paper bags over their heads to enter and leave the home out of sheer embarrassment.

13. Write about things that matter. Things like putting whipping cream in air bags so that if you're in a car accident, you have something yummy to eat that takes your mind off of the fact that your femur is at a 90 degree lateral angle from the rest of your body.

14. Write pieces that sound pretentious and intelligent but in reality are just made up nonsense. Score points if they are discussed in higher circles as legitimate. More points if colleges and universities create classes that delve into the deeper meaning of the work. Lose points if they find any.

15. Only 15 so far? Sorry, forgot there's no Rule 6. Only 14 so far? Well. This is harder than I thought. Maybe that should be a goal: think harder. Or at least generate a thought.

16-200. Repeat first 15 goals - darnit, did it again - 14 goals.

That should do the trick.

Happy trails.