Many boys eyes competed for her gaze
My own girl absent, I had not my fill
Grown cold long before her soft embrace
I was still young and she was younger still
Sitting in the sunset I recall it
Ancient Sunday sat on dry twigs and grass
Not ground, but lap for my ember
Her body warm, her eyes like glass
Pity or pride, she sat with me that day
And then; Nothing, both my hands retracted
Such a fool I was, I wish they didn’t
My embarrassment shone; I retreated
I rue inaction, my regrets remain
In my memory, still young is her flame
Thanks for reading a newbie story from a newbie writer. Your eyes and attention are huge support and your opinion as a reader is abstract gold.
This was my first poem! From concept to the smallest detail I would love feedback on how I could write this kind of prose better. If you have any notes on how you would have done it in my shoes my Insta PM’s are open, and my inbox is ready.
https://vocal.media/authors/james-durl
About the Creator
James Durl
A budding academic trying to flex his creative muscles.
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