Terminally ill

Terminally ill

Gravity

I went form having so much mentality,

To floating with no gravity.

I didn’t get go to college, as no one could sign my forms.

So I put myself through school.

A trade school for medical assisting.

Finally it wasn’t me doing the waiting.

I loved being on the other side of the medical field.

I was functional.

Punctual

Dysfunctional.

I wanted to keep things the same.

Especially with certain mental illnesses and chronic physical disabilities.

My aunt said to me “you’ve been terminally ill your whole life”

I’m visited daily by someone who told med what to write.

Of course with a brain injury ( 2nd CVA- 2016)

Losing most of my short term memory.

I know I can be hard to ease and sometimes harder to please.

I know.

How did we get here Erica?

Being chronically ill means never knowing how you’re going feel that day.

Everyday hurts, some more than others.

Mentally I'm keeping it together surprisingly well.

Weird right?

This to me is my own personal mental hell.

Some say I’m already going to hell, but I don't believe in that tradition bullshit.

I believe in Buddha, spirituality, positive vibes and energy.

Our environment, planet, biology.

I believe in us.

My physical and mental health feels a shift after what is said.

I want a life to dream about.

Something to care about

First starts with me

-ej